Coaching Youth Sports
Coaching youth sports is a challenge. Most of our kids are
really happy to have us step up to the plate and coach and,
despite the time we give up, most parents find the experience
equally rewarding. However, there are some major things that
every coach needs to do and understand before they start the
season: 1) coach with the proper attitude; 2) coach with the
proper fundamentals; and, 3) learn and teach the difference
between the "Dad Hat" and the "Coach Hat".
Coaching the Right Attitude
We all love our kids and, let's face it; we also love playing
sports with our kids. For me, it's the way that I spend most of
my free time and it is right up there as one of my favorite
things to do. That being said, I also need to realize that
statistically, none of the kids that I coach will ever play
professional sports, nearly all of them will not play sports in
college, and many of them will not even play varsity sports in
high school. So, what does this mean for us as a coach? We need
to emphasize all the other aspects of sports and the life
lessons that make us love playing the game. Mostly, we need to
make the experience fun!
In 1988, Robert Fulghum wrote the book "All I Really Need to
Know I learned in Kindergarten". I've often told people that you
can learn everything you need to know by playing sports -
especially youth sports. Many of the same lessons apply, but on
an even bigger scale where kids learn success and failure,
wining and losing, sportsmanship and teamwork, and how to
respond in many pressure situations. None of these are easy
lessons. Winning with grace is just as hard to teach as losing
with dignity. How can you do this and make sure that everybody
has a great season? That's the trick.
Every team you ever coach, especially teams with younger kids,
will be split between kids that are talented and kids that are
not. The goal that you have as a coach is to make sure that
every one of those kids has a great experience and wants to play
again next year. I take the most pride in the job I did as a
coach when the worst kid on the team loves the sport and keeps
playing year after year. The way that I do this is to emphasize
things other than on field performance.
Coaching the Right Fundamentals
Kids of any age can learn to do things properly. They may not
have the motor skills developed yet, but they can at least try
to do it right. One of my favorite misconceptions is that
"practice makes perfect". That's totally wrong; practice doesn't
make perfect, practice makes PERMANENT. What I try to teach is:
"Perfect Practice Makes Permanently Perfect". That's a pretty
big difference!
Of course, this really changes things for a youth coach because
we need to teach the correct fundamentals or we'll simply be
reinforcing the bad habits kids develop. The hardest thing to do
as a coach is to try and correct a flaw that a kid has developed
over years of "practice". This is even harder when the kid is
good, because correcting the fundamental flaw generally means
that getting worse before getting better. That means the kid is
going to be reluctant to try this "new" way and may not stick it
out. In the long run, the difference could be huge.
The solution is simple: we need to learn the right fundamentals
before we start coaching. It's a responsibility that we accept
when we volunteer to coach. Now, up front, I want to make sure
to state that most of us think we know much more about sports
than we really do. That's simply not true. Much of what we
learned was wrong. We may also not know the right way to
communicate what we know to kids. Or, we may not know anything
about the sport if we're stepping in and coaching soccer or
another sport that wasn't "big" when we were young.
Fortunately, there is help. Many leagues do a good job teaching
their coaches the fundamentals of the game. Some leagues even
offer mandatory coaching clinics for their coaches. These are
really good starts, but generally not enough - especially as the
kids you coach get older and better. Before every season that I
coach, I'll watch several instructional tapes to review the
fundamentals and also learn new material. I re-watch tapes,
often with my kids that we've seen before and buy a couple of
new ones to add some wrinkles. Of course, at SportsKids.com, we
do offer 1,000's of instructional books and videos, but the
point of this section is to simply say to use whatever method
you choose to make sure that you teach correct fundamentals.
Every kid, even young kids, can learn with good coaching and
remember: "Practice makes Permanent".
The "Dad Hat" and the "Coach Hat"
There is a huge difference between being a "Dad" and being a
"Coach". Each has different responsibilities and relationships
with the kids. Unfortunately, there isn't a lot of overlap
between the two roles. I literally have two hats: one says "Dad"
and the other says "Coach". Over the years, my kids and I have
learned to separate the two so I don't wear the hats too often,
but it does make the distinction more literal. Coaching your own
children is one of the real challenges of youth sports because
sometimes, you child wants or expects to have a dad when you're
the team's coach. If you can separate these roles, and both of
your expectations, you and your child will have a much better
youth sports experience.
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