Dating Advice: Meeting Men After Age 40

Recently, one of the TV morning shows featured a segment about dating, which concluded that women have a better chance of becoming America's Next Top Model than of meeting a decent man after the age of 40. The subject of the segment, a pretty but surgically-altered 44-year-old, complained that the 60-year-old coots she dates consider her too old for them. The perky hostess sympathized, saying that she knew of one successful man who had a rule for the women he dates: Half his age plus seven years. Deflated, I turned off the TV. Sure, I'm happily married to a man who never lets me forget that he loves me. But what if, God forbid, he stepped in front of a bus? Would I ever find romance again, or would I be tossed on the reject pile on the basis of my age? I took a look around. My husband's 40-year-old friend recently got married, not to a 22-year-old Hooters waitress but to a professional woman his own age. A friend of mine, a 42-year-old teacher, met her husband when he showed up for Thanksgiving dessert at her cousin's house two years ago (they now have a baby girl). My brother, who is 35, tends to date older women, as do a growing number of men, according to an article in last year's Connecticut Post. A striking example of an over-40 romance magnet is Mary, an Irish woman who was widowed while her children were young. After a mourning period, she resumed her active social life and, in her forties, fell in love and remarried. She and her new husband enjoyed music, dancing, and watched each other become grandparents. When he died two years ago after 25 years of marriage, she became a widow for a second time. But, typical of Mary, she eventually came to the conclusion that life was for the living. The last time I saw her, men were lining up to dance with her at her granddaughter's graduation party (they weren't pity dances, either). The woman is attractive, laughs easily, and has a zest for life. Despite the hardships she's faced, she's happy. Who wouldn't want to dance with her? And that's the key to being attractive at any age: Despite your circumstances, you must allow yourself to be happy. Life will never be perfect. Your divorced son may be living on your couch, you might share a driveway with an annoying woman who puts her garbage out three days before pick-up, or maybe you just gained three pounds. Just let it go. According to Abraham Lincoln, "People are as happy as they make up their minds to be." Write a list of your blessings and keep it with you. Read it before you hit the pillow at night and before you set your feet on the floor in the morning. Decide to be happy, and you will be happy. What's more, you will become the woman men want to know better. Happiness is a woman's best cosmetic, the late actress Jane Russell once said, and she knew a thing or two about being attractive. Makeup, jewelry, and plastic surgery cannot compare to the power of happiness to make you the fun and desirable woman you know, deep inside, you really are. Is it possible to meet a decent man after the age of 40? You tell me.