People Skill and the 4 Basic Types
Do you have the people skill needed to handle difficult people?
Best selling author, Peter Urs Bender
http://www.peterursbender.com/ has come up with four basic
personality types. Based on the fact that you really can't
understand someone who's being difficult, until you can see the
world through his or her eyes, here are the four basic types:
1. The Analytical person:
Give this person details, statistics and a stack of 'how-to'
books. This person wants exact numbers and answers. Usually
introverted; in a problem situation don't try and plead an
emotional case - stick to the facts and provide plenty of data
to back it up!
2. The Driver:
'My way or the highway' might be this person's motto. They want
to know what saves time and the fastest way to get results. Not
overly emotional, this personality type is extraverted. Greatest
fear? Losing control.
3. The Amiable person:
The question they want answered is 'why?' This person doesn't
like disagreements. An emotional type, the amiable person will
give others support and attention. They enjoy building
relationships and values the opinions of others. In a conflict
situation the amiable person needs reassurance - and lots of it.
4. The Expressive:
The question they are likely to want answered is 'who?' A pat on
the back is a good thing to this person and they love social
events. Another extravert, this type fears being rejected. The
expressive shows emotion easily and readily and loves to inspire
others.
So to use your people skill to work with different
personalities, you don't necessarily want to use the golden
rule. You want to do to others what THEY would like done to
them. The only way to really know what that would entail is to
really listen to that person.
It may take some time to establish the personality trait that
seems to fit the person you are dealing with the most.
Nevertheless, it will be time well spent.
Probably the hardest part comes next. You will want to adopt
their ways. Let's say you are the Amiable type and want to
develop your people skills with a certain Driver individual. If
you've taken the time to really understand that the driver needs
to feel that he or she is getting the problem resolved their
way, you'll have a better chance at reaching an agreement.
Keep in mind that this isn't a 'let people walk all over me'
people skill set. This is more about a shift in our own
personality patterns towards someone else's.
Peter Urs Bender wants us to remember that there are no
difficult people, only different ones. He goes on to guarantee
that his approach, albeit needing enough courage to change,
always pays off.