Next Comes The Corporate-Gift-Basket Fallout (milestones) After The Fall Of My House Of Cards - Pt 2

Corporate-gift-basket: Life is Becoming More Positive by The Day Everything in my life is really jelling; I'm wandering when I am going to wake up from this dream. It is January 1991 and working with this company for 4 years (in March). March next year on my anniversary will qualify me to receive a company diamond ring and a pay raise to 6 figures and extra bonuses. I am back home in Los Angeles to build the 105 freeway. This is the freeway that will run from Norwalk to L.A. International Airport (LAX). It's kind of funny, the first project I worked was repaving the left runway and taxiways for LAX. One morning, as I prepared to go to work, something was wrong. Corporate-gift-basket: A Turn For The Worst As I was conversing with my spouse, she also noticed something unusual. I had slurred speech & my words were garbled. Words like 'rosencranse', there is no such street in Los Angeles. Anyway, I went to the job site, opened the building, turned on all the computers, as all of the engineers will be in shortly. Made coffee and began managing payroll. The project manager just walked in. As I turned to put some time-sheets in order, I became stumped. I didn't know what to do next. The project manager noticed it also. He said, "Just relax yourself." He then called my brother and asked him to take me to the hospital. Within less than 10 minutes we were on our way. The Doctor asked me several questions; all were simple with no answers from me. He then gave me a pencil and paper for me to write my name, the only right answer. He turns to my brother and said he has had a stroke. We are going to keep him. Corporate-gift-basket: By far The Worst Days of My Life At that point I began to cry, not whaling, just tears. The doctor comforts me as he explains that crying is a normal reaction with stroke victims. All the time, I am thinking about how close 14 months and I would have completed my career goal for my family and me. I then gegan to cry. For the next month I end up in this hospital. After that I am enrolled in therapy for the next 6 months. After 3 months my therapist asked would I like to try going back to work. I said, "I would like to try." She took me to the job site. After maybe five minutes I was in tears again. I don't see ever going back to my regular job again (at least no time soon). My therapist had to agree with me. It made me feel more that 'disabled', even though I am (it that make any since). I made up my mind (what's left of it) to spend as much time and energy to re-learn what I've learned before the stroke. I am a joker but not a quitter. Quitting is another way of saying surrender. Corporate-Gift-Basket: Past Milestones Like Finding Wisdom One fine day, a package came for me. It was a corporate-gift-basket. Attached to the corporate gift is a card signed by all of my friends at the company. The corporate-gift-basket incensed me. Bittersweet feelings went all through me all at once. My personal goal was only oh so close, yet so far away. This company was my house of cards. When they sent the corporate gift, I started to wonder if they were really in touch with what I was feelings inside. Was the corporate-gift-basket just a ploy to see how I really felt about them? Was the company just sending a corporate-gift-basket just as a normal course of things to do in this situation? Or, was the corporate gift really truly sincere? After receiving the corporate-gift-basket, there were many unresolved issues in the back of my mind that still haunt me to this very day. Should I pursue them? I think not. Although, the main question about everyone signing the same card that was attached to the corporate gift, really puzzled me. Had it been anyone that really truly cared for me, they would sign the corporate-gift-basket card and send a personal gift and card. The people that I thought were close in the company didn't call or try to follow-up to see how things are panning out personally. Just as I was putting the finishing touches, the world shook; the only thing left standing was the shattered dream and of course the corporate gift. It could have been worst. Corporate-Gift-Basket: Insult and Injury In 1998 I had another stroke (another milestone), and again in 2000 (another milestone). Each of those strokes took another part of me physically. Each of them were blessings in disguise that also invigorated me to push through those hard times and to see another day with fresh eyes. As long as I live, I will always have milestones (whether I am aware of them or not). Each milestone that I am aware of tends to lead me to an ultimate truth in my life. Previously, I was terribly short-sited and narrow in my thinking. Corporate-gift-basket: Conclusion Today I am totally optimistic. The corporate-gift-basket (milestone) I received in 1991 was the under pining that drove me to see the real truth with new eyes (figuratively speaking). Yesterday is dead and burned up, tomorrow is not promised to anyone, this moment has promise, (only)as long as I stay active and always moving forward. I don't let moss grow under my feet. Each moment is actually a milestone of my life (God willing). It has been almost one day since I really started living my true dream life; the longer I live to realize my next milestones (and apply the truth in them) then, every moment becomes a milestone to potentially enhance my life. I look at my 1991 corporate-gift-basket (milestone)as bought knowledge not devastation.