Why and how parents should impart their children with the right
kind of sex education?
Many parents are confused about what they should tell their
children about sex and when and how this should happen. Parents
are also concerned that sexual information might heighten
children's interest in experimentation, but many studies have
shown that information and education do not encourage sexual
activity. On the contrary, wellinformed children make better and
informed decisions regarding their sexuality, when they feel
that no subjects are considered taboo at home. Some parents are
concerned that their children never ask any questions of a
sexual nature. Children pick up subtle cues and have probably
realised that the topic makes parents feel uncomfortable and
therefore steer clear of it. It is important to make children
feel good about their sexuality from the beginning. This will
make it easier for them to ask questions about it throughout
their lives. Here are a few good reasons why you need to take
some time out and make sure that your child has the right kind
of sexual information and how it can help your child...
PREGNANCY AND AIDS: Previously, the threat of unwanted
pregnancies and STDs were the main reasons parents talked about
sex. Many never did. Sex was made out to be something terrifying
that could lead to scandal and disaster and social ostracism.
Nowadays, the terrifying rise in HIV infections has added
urgency to the need for proper sex education.
AN ONGOING PROCESS: Questions should be answered naturally and
in age-appropriate fashion. A question on pregnancy from a
five-year-old should be answered differently from when it is
asked by a twelve-year-old.
BE A GOOD ROLE MODEL: Model the lessons you want to teach your
children through your own behaviour, expectations and messages.
Children learn more from what they see you doing than from what
you say.
KNOW YOUR FACTS: Even if it means reading up, then do so. If
asked a question you do not know, say that you are unsure and go
and do some research.
GIVE FACTS: Children are not always able to distinguish between
facts and beliefs. Do not let your personal belief system
influence what you answer to a factual question. While there is
room for imparting your values, this is not it.
ENCOURAGE YOUR CHILD: Curious children end up being better
informed generally and self-confident children overcome peer
pressure more easily. Praise is the best way to teach
self-confidence.
LISTEN CAREFULLY: Guard against overkill. Answer what is asked,
without going into unnecessary details and don't jump to
conclusions about your children's sexual activities. Their
questions may spring from something they heard on the
playground, not because they are experimenting themselves.
POSITIVE FEELINGS: Young people who have positive feelings about
sexuality are more likely to be able to protect themselves
against STDs, unintended pregnancies and sexual abuse.
BE PATIENT: Sometimes some of your children's questions could
upset or embarrass you. Try not to criticise, lecture or nag. If
you do, you won't be asked questions again.
ASSURANCE: Let your children know that you are proud of them and
that they are lovable. It will help to build their self-esteem.
Also stress that it is normal for everyone to be different and
that you do not find their questions strange in any way. A child
is very vulnerable and can get carried away by external sources.
Make sure you impart a proper understanding of sexuality in your
child, and always be open to them and keep your child safe.