Making Words Live with Vivid Modifiers
Lately the message has been sent to writers to avoid using
adverbs, adjectives, or prepositional phrases in writing. This
idea is the same as telling a long distance runner to wear a
mask to limit his breathing or to find his feet together. It
doesn't cause better writing, just limits its power and impact.
The message would be better if it said, "Don't use vague and
abstract modifiers in your writing because that weakens what you
have to say." That idea makes sense.
Modifiers such as adjectives, adverbs, and prepositional phrases
describe or limit subjects, verbs, objects, or other modifiers.
However, to enhance writing, any modifiers should be as vivid
and specific as possible. The modifiers should be necessary and
not padding (unnecessary words that just fill space).
Vague and abstract modifiers should be avoided or replaced by
specific and concrete modifiers. What does beautiful mean? The
day was so beautiful. What specific or concrete modifiers would
mean beautiful to the writer so that the reader could know what
is meant? Perhaps the writer means the day was bright and sunny,
that little or no wind disturbed the trees, that the deep blue
of the sky wasn't marred by storm clouds.
Revised sentence: The day held no wind to disturb the
trees as the sun shone brightly in the blue sky unmarred by
storm clouds. (Not only are specific and vivid modifiers used,
but the verb is changed from a to-be verb to an action one.)
Avoiding cliche, hackneyed, trite modifiers and using fresh or
original modifiers strengthens writing. Heart-rending is an
overused adjective. What synonym would work better in the
following sentence. His departure and rebuff was heart-rending.
(We might also try to lose the was.)
Rivised sentence: The shock of his departure and rebuff
caused her breathing to stop for a few seconds and her chest to
ache.
A list of sample vague and/or abstract modifiers include the
following: large, long, big, pretty, ugly, beautiful, very,
hardly, usually; but there are many more. If enough detail isn't
given with a modifier for the reader to know what the writers
means, then it needs to be replaced.
Bring your writing to life by avoiding vague or abstract
modifiers and by using specific and vivid ones instead.