The Origins of the Iraq Civil War - A Joke
The immense carnage of WWI was caused by one gunshot in
Yugoslavia, "The shot heard round the world." The Apocalypse,
the sudden violent end of life on Earth forever has now been set
in motion by a cartoon.
Prior to 911, how many Americans knew where Afghanistan was?
Today, Feb. 23, 2006, how many Americans know the difference
between a Shiite and a Sunni Muslim? The cartoon of the Prophet
Muhammad triggered a world wide Muslim stampede which is now
escalating into an Iraqi civil war between the Shi'a and the
Sunni Muslims, and the Christian Americans are caught right in
the middle of it. If the Sunnis win, then they will free Saddam
Hussein, and he will likely go into exile with his Swiss Oil
Billions in a friendly Muslim country, until his triumphant
return to power in Iraq, as did the Ayatollah returning to
replace the American Iranian puppet the Shah of Iran. Had George
Bush spent 3 cents on 1 bullet and executed Saddam in his rabbit
hole, this never would have happened. Imagine Scott Peterson
coming into court in his underwear, constantly standing up and
calling the Judge a puppet of the Americans, and winning. Saddam
Hussein has got to be laughing his head off at George Bush right
now, Mr. "Mission Accomplished.", the son of his father Abu
George, Mr. "Read my lips, no new taxes." Unfortunately the
Democrats are such weaklings, like Hubert Humphrey Dumptey and
Walter Mondale that they can't knock out the Republican Party
that has already knocked itself out on the domestic and world
stage, plunging America into bankruptcy and making it the black
sheep of the World. Don't worry because soon it will all be
over.
Earthlings are the laughing stock, the comedy channel of the
Universe. Many Americans today are wondering why the Bushes,
whose oil company was financed by the Bin Laden family and who
sit on the board of directors of their puppets the Saudi Royal
family are now selling the American ports to the Muslim United
Arab Emirates. The question is, "Who is pulling whose strings?"
The House of Saud is obviously funneling billions into the
Bushes Swiss bank accounts for keeping them in power and safe
from Osama Bin Laden, the well known video star. Video did not
kill the radio star. To say this is to blaspheme Howard Stern.
Yeshua aka Joshua aka Jesus aka South Park Jesus was a Jewish
Rabbi with a black hat and a black coat and long sideburns aka
pais who created the Universe and everything in it, according to
2,000,000,000 Christians. 1,000,000,000 Christians believe that
the successor to Joshua Goldstein was Peter aka The Pope aka His
Holiness "Mr. Infallible", Mr. incapable of error. Another
1,000,000,000 Christians don't believe this. This disagreement
over the successor to Jesus has led to countless wars and
murders and raping and pillaging of innocent Christian men,
women and children. It is so easy to see insanity in others but
impossible to see it in ourselves. Yesterday my friend Isabelle
attended a Hermes scarf club luncheon. One woman brought 30 of
her 400 $500 Hermes scarves for show and tell. The Hermes head
scarf is $5,000. The female Miami stevedores love their new
uniform, burkas. The Jebusites and the Hittites are making a
comeback at Disneyworld, which was recently purchased by the
House of Saud aka the BarbJennaBush Development Corporation. Who
needs screenwriters when truth is stranger than fiction?
So, what separates Sunni Muslims from Shiite Muslims other than
their battle for the power, control and oil of Iraq? Well, the
Prophet Muhammad lived about 1,400 years ago on a planet 5
billion years old with human skeletons named Lucy 4 million
years old. A Prophet is a person, like Joshua Goldfarb, who
speaks to God and gets the game plan. Today he would either be a
schizophrenic undergoing electro shock therapy and a lobotomy or
a best selling author. The Prophet Muhammad could not read or
write, and he did not speak directly to God of Mount Sinai, aka
Allah, God the Father, The Holy Spirit, Jesus Christ, Adonai,
Yehovah, Elohim, Hashem, etc. Instead he spoke to the same Angel
Gabriel who brought the good news to the Virgin Mary aka Mirriam
Goldstein that God the Father had impregnated her with his Holy
Spirit and she was about to give birth to the Messiah
immaculately.
The Prophet Muhammad had a scribe, and he dictated his
prophecies to the scribe and 50 years after the Prophet died the
Muslim Bible Writers came up with the Muslim Holy Scriptures:
The Hebrew Old Testament, The Christian New Testament and the
Koran. Perhaps they did not notice that in the Old Testament it
says that the Messiah will kill every non Jew and the Christian
New Testament says that the Messiah will kill every non
Christian upon his arrival on a flying white horse from Heaven.
So, what separates Sunni Muslims from Shiite Muslims? God of
Mount Sinai, in his very first commandment carved by Him
personally in stone says, "Do not worship, bow down to or
idolize or revere anyone on Earth." The Muslims revere the
Prophet Muhammad as the Christians revere the Prophet Jesus as
the Jews revere Knicks tickets and corned beef sandwiches on rye
with kimel, Jesus' favorite dish. The Prophet Muhammad had a son
in law named Ali ibn Abi Talib aka Imam Ali. The Shiites believe
that he was the leader of Islam after Muhammad, the proper
successor to Muhammad, and follow his heirs. The Sunnis do not.
They believe that the true successor of Muhammad was his
lieutenant Abu (father of) Baker. Bob Dole is a UAE port
lobbyist. Prior to Jesus usurping power from the Roman Gods and
Goddesses upon his election as God at the Council of Nicaea 300
years after his death, the Roman Empire and the Greek Empire
worshipped their own Gods and Goddesses including the Greek
Goddess of Love Aphrodite renamed Venus by the Romans. I'm your
Venus, I'm your fire, I'm your desire.
In the fairy tale, Uranus was castrated by his son Cronus.
Jesus, the Prince of Peace says, "I have not come to bring you
Peace, but the sword, to turn son against father..". Uranus'
severed testicles fell into the sea and fertilized the ocean
water which began to bubble and from the concoction was born an
18 year old naked Goddess Aphrodite. Venus was painted by Sandro
Boticelli. You can pick the painting up on eBay for $325
million. They do accept Pay Pal. Jesus stars in his own cable
show "Jesus and Pals" on South Fork. The New Testament does not
contain one word of description of Jesus yet his likeness
appears on the cross in every Catholic Church to scare the Hell
out of every Catholic child. Jesus never said the word Hell in
his life. Every time he says Sheol or Gehenna in the Holy Bible
the modern Bible Writers substitute the word Hell to scare the
Hell out of every Christian child. Fear and guilt are the
classic brainwashing techniques. Gehenna was where the Jewish
and non Jewish people sacrificed their first born children alive
on fire altars 2,500 years ago just south of Jerusalem. Sheol
was the place underground where both the good and the bad
spirits went to live together after death according to Jesus
Christ in the original Greek manuscripts of the New Testament.
According to the Shi'a Muslims depictions of Muhammad are
verboten. According to the Sunni Muslims they are allowed. This
controversy stirred up by the cartoon is the root of the now
exploding Iraq civil war. Cartoons are a form of art as old as
hieroglyphics and paintings by our ancestors on cave walls.
After the last American Civil War there were cartoons of
carpetbaggers being hung from trees and donkeys branded with the
emblem KKK. The triple K's were disgruntled Americans from the
southern states numbering in the millions who crucified blacks,
Jews and Catholics and set the crosses on fire less than 200
years ago. Our ancestors were sadistic and masochistic freaks
and we are their clones. Don't worry because soon it will all be
over.
The only thing on Earth that sells better then sex is the right
to commit murder and the Religions have the market cornered.
Islam rewards the murder of Christians and Jews with eternal
paradise in Heaven with God and 72 virgins, crystal clear
springs and unlimited wine with no side effects. (Koran Sura
9:29-30). Jesus is soon returning to throw all of the non
Christians into the fire and to Rapture the Christians into
Paradise for doing this for him. (Matthew 13:36-43). The Jewish
Messiah is coming soon to smash every non believer into a
million pieces like a potter's vessel and conquer the world for
the Jews. (Psalm 2). Every single nuclear scientist knows that
nuclear world war III and its aftermath nuclear winter then
ultraviolet summer will have zero survivors. The only way for us
to survive is through world peace. The Temple of Love - The
World Peace Religion, makes Peace among and unites Christianity,
Islam, Judaism and everyone else by tying them together with
their common threads and resolving all of their differences once
and for all. The problem is that selling Peace to bloodthirsty
Earthlings massacring innocent children because fairy tales
command them to is like trying to teach great white sharks not
to eat fish. At least they don't eat pork.