Eliminating Unecessary Words
Every writer has them, a mental list of things you notice in
stories that drive you insane! On the top of my list is the
superfluous use of the words had and that. Now
these words aren't always a no-no; sometimes they are necessary!
You can check to see if you need the word by removing it and
reading the sentence again.
He had an apple for lunch. This sentence wouldn't make
sense without the word, unless you substituted it with a more
descriptive word, such as ate.
After work, he had stopped at the grocery store to buy milk
for his wife. This sentence works without had and so it
should be eliminated.
The same can be said for the word, that.
I want that tree, Mommy! In this case, the word is
necessary.
She saw a tree that she wanted to buy. In this sentence,
it can be eliminated.
Having a few extra words hanging around in your story doesn't
seem like a big deal, but it can slow down the story and you
risk losing the interest of the reader. Consider the following
passage:
He had went to the store late last night. It had been raining
and the streets were wet. He drove around the corner, maybe a
little too fast, and almost ran over a tree that was in the
middle of the road. He swerved to avoid it, happy he had buckled
his seat belt before leaving the house. He didn't always put it
on and felt that an angel must be watching over him... until the
tractor trailer came around the corner and crushed his car
against the tree.
Removing much of the extra verbiage changes the pace and allows
the reader to get to the punch line faster.
He went to the store late last night. It was raining and the
streets were wet. He drove around the corner, maybe a little too
fast, and almost ran over a tree in the middle of the road. He
swerved to avoid it; happy he buckled his seat belt before
leaving the house. He didn't always put it on and he felt an
angel must be watching over him... until the tractor trailer
came around the corner and crushed his car against the tree.
Now let me clarify one point. Using had is grammatically correct
in many instances and is referred to as past perfect
tense. Past perfect tense is intended to distinguish the
order of an action for the reader. I contend the order of events
should be clear without the use of the word had in most cases.
So while it is grammatically correct in some situations, it can,
and should, be eliminated in most.