The Amazing Power of One More Question
Building strong relationships is all about having two sides
appreciate each other and want to build a bond that works both
ways.
This can generate the enormous benefits of collaboration, which
is a valuable interchange of ideas and effort that is better
than one plus one.
When you are a boss, it's quite natural to take the lead in
conversations, and those who work for you usually take the
subordinate role as a matter of course - it's what they've
always done!
So you need to do more to make them feel an equal partner with
you in the ventures you undertake. You need to make a special
effort to show them how much you value what they say, as a way
of encouraging them.
One special way can be particularly effective.
This is a small step you can take in every conversation, which,
like magic, makes a massive difference to how you are perceived
in any relationship.
It is not a difficult skill to learn and you can start right
away.
When you are in conversation (any conversation!), ask another
question about what they have told you.
That's it, just one more question about what your conversation
partner has been saying - about anything!
What does this do? Here are twelve great benefits to this...
1. It shows you are listening and paying attention
2. It shows that what has been said is valuable
3. It values the person you have been talking to
4. Psychologically, it builds trust between you because you have
shown you care
5. It develops the conversation and they will tell you even more
6. It enables them to realise that there is someone who they can
share their thoughts, ideas, hopes and fears with
7. They can also start to approach you outside conversations
started by you
8. It makes you appear out of the ordinary - in fact a bit of a
hero - you listen, and most others in your position don't
9. It creates new approaches which may well be of real value
10. Questioning becomes much less extraordinary, more the
natural way
11. It helps you develop a conversational style which will help
you do more, go further, involve others too
12. You can do it with your boss - see what the results are!
It is the start of a change of culture, to one where everyone
values the input and involvement of each other - and that can be
a most rewarding exercise.
Not least that you are making strong, supportive and encouraging
bonds with each one of your people, one at a time.
And that is what 99% of bosses and leaders don't do.
With this simple tool - ask another question about what they
have been saying, you can make the difference - and you will!