I hear many people discuss how selfishness leads to greed, or that being greedy is part of being selfish. I simply have to say that "greed" and "selfishness" are not the same things. These are "value words" and are based on ideas and information drilled into our heads when we were younger as something known as "basic morals."

As you grow and change, you find that these value words don't seem to fit any longer and, instead of providing a basis from which we can learn, they begin to hinder progress. If you learned that being selfish meant not doing for others and that selfishness was bad, then all your life you will be taken advantage of and used by those that have come to realize that it is okay to be selfish with oneself.

However, this basic idea of selfishness preempts the definition of love. What this means is that, if we're selfish of ourselves, we can never love. This too is untrue! If we are selfish with ourselves, we seek that which is right and true for ourselves. In this search, we can find that person that is right for us and we love them because they provide the feelings that we seek for satisfaction.

Greed is a feeling for materialistic "things". Selfishness is a feeling for oneself.

In today's society, we have many incorrect ideas pounded into our heads by "parental voices" condemning and patronizing us into submission. When we begin to love ourselves and live for ourselves, we associate that feeling with the negative connotation of selfishness.

Redefine the meanings of your value words. Don't just accept a value word as an absolute because it came from someone else who you feel "has it all together". While they might have it all together in an area of their life that you see, they might be in turmoil in some other area of their life. Learn to redefine and trust your own values based on your own ability to reason.

About The Author

Edward B. Toupin is an author, life-strategy coach, counselor, Reiki Master, technical writer, and PhD Candidate living in Las Vegas, NV. Among other things, he authors books, articles, and screenplays on topics ranging from career success through life organization and fulfillment. For more information, e-mail Edward at etoupin@toupin.com or visit his sites at http://www.toupin.com or http://www.make-life-great.com.

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