Let's assume that you want to start your own website, but don't know the first thing about web-design. You're a crack websurfer, and you want to take things up a notch by creating your own site. You're thinking: If the pornographers can do it, why can't I?

The answer is that you can, if you're willing to put in a bit of hard work. Six months ago I was in the same position as you. About a month later I had my own site up and running. How did I do it?

The process of getting a website online involves four basic steps. (Bear in mind that I'm offering this information to those who are, as I was, complete novices in the field. Experienced webmasters will find this stuff laughably basic.)

1. Creating an offline or test version of your site on your home computer. This is the most complicated part of the whole process, because it will require you to master the basics of HTML (Hyper Text Markup Language). This is the special code that web pages are written in. If you don't compose your pages in proper HTML format, web browsers won't be able to decode and display them correctly, and your stuff will come out looking like a dog's breakfast (or won't come out at all). I'll try to outline the basics of HTML after I've finished outlining the 4 basic steps.

2. Getting yourself a "domain name" (e.g. www.bob'shomepage.com) that will serve as your site's home address. Sometimes your own internet provider will offer you a limited amount of free web space to "host" a page or two of your own content (see step 3) along with a ready-made (and non-negotiable) domain name. This will generally be one of those long and unattractive and unmemorable domain names full of slashes and weird little squiggles. If -- like Bob, or for that matter like me -- you want to choose your own domain name, you'll have to pay for it. You'll need to go to a domain name registration site (e.g. Register.com) and check whether your desired name is available. If it is, you'll then have to register it and pay an annual fee (something like US $30) to retain ownership of it.

3. Finding a web host. As I said above, some internet providers will offer you a certain amount of free space to "host" your web pages. This is a fine option for some people. But if you're looking for a lot of web space, or if you want to select your own domain name rather than be stuck with the one issued by your provider, you'll need to seek out a specialized web host. Again this will cost you, although not much. Mine costs around US $3 a month. Just punch "web hosts" into your search engine and shop around. Some hosts will host your site for free, if you're willing to place an ad or two on your pages in return.

4. Uploading your offline files onto the server of your web host.

As I said, number 1 is by far the most time-consuming of these steps. The other three steps will only take you about a day. It's learning to compose your web pages in the correct HTML format that really takes the hard work. But my feeling is if you're motivated enough, you'll have no trouble mastering the basics.

First, you need to understand that a website is a series of linked pages or documents. Generally speaking, unless you're doing something really fancy, these pages will be HTML documents. (This is why the address of a basic web page ends with the extension .htm or .html, just as a Word document always ends in the extension .doc.) To get an idea of what an HTML document looks like, go to the "View" tab of your browser (if you're using Explorer) and then select "Source." If you're using Netscape, go to "View" and then "Page Source." This will allow you to see what this page looks like in raw HTML format. Don't be daunted. It's not quite as complicated as it looks. If you scroll down a fair way you'll end up finding the text of this article. But you'll notice this text is surrounded and interspersed with a whole lot of commands and information held inside triangular brackets. These commands are HTML "tags" which instruct your browser how to display my text as I want it to appear. The "p" tag, for example, tells your browser to start a new paragraph. The "br" tag tells your browser to insert a line-break. The "title" tag tells your browser to display the title of the article in a larger point-size.

And so on. If you want to set up a half-way decent looking website, you'll need to familiarize yourself with all the basic HTML tags, and learn how to use HTML to create links between pages, to insert and position images, to change fonts, and so on. I'm afraid I don't have the space or the patience to teach you all that. I suggest you buy a basic book on the subject. I don't want to endorse any particular product, but in my experience you can't go wrong with one of those books aimed specifically at the absolute duffer -- "HTML For Absolute Cretins," that sort of thing.

I further suggest, if you're really committed to this website thing, that you invest in some web-design software. A good software program can take an awful lot of the difficulty out of building your own site. It can write a lot of the tags for you, and it can be a great help when the time finally comes for you to upload your documents onto your host's server. The "Absolute Cretins" book that I bought came with a CD containing a lot of sample software programs. I trialed one of them -- called Dreamweaver -- for a month and found it so user-friendly that I wound up buying a licence for it. At $400 U.S. it didn't come cheap, but if you're serious about your site something of the kind might well prove to be a worthwhile investment.

Kirk Kinbote was the driving editorial and design force behind http://www.adancingbear.com/