Solid Poo

Solid Poo

If you had told me this time last year that I would find nappies and poo fascinating, I would have peered at you over my huge bloated pregnant stomach and snorted in disdain. Now I have a child who is just about to learn to crawl into things he shouldn't, I am almost nostalgic for his breastmilk-only poos. They came in a variety of colours, from orange through to brown with the occasional green thrown in for good measure. They rarely smelled bad and in my maddest, sleep deprived moments I entertained notions of Dulux colour-matching some of the prettier shades. I was used to the occasional leaking wrap and it was easy to wipe his bum with a bit of damp cotton wool.

Then came solids.

I started on his 6-month birthday and for the next two months tried to get him interested in lovingly prepared organic veg, steamed and squished through a sieve, mixed with breastmilk that I hated expressing, only to have it rejected with clamped lips and windmilling arms after the first spoonful. Occasionally though, he'd mangle a bit of rice cake into his mouth. For the first few weeks I watched his nappies avidly. When was his first solid poo going to arrive? How stinky was it going to be? Could I deal with it? There was a brief real poo celebration in the third week but that turned out to be page 237 of his dad's Maplins catalogue. I no longer got excited about it but kept up the daily routine of offering him tasty morsels.

I stopped the whole 'Where's the duck? Has he got a spoon? Gosh, how did that get into your mouth?' charade for a few days after a tummy bug and the next time I tried he grabbed the spoon and shovelled the banana in. At last! But the poos were still squishy, maybe one spoonful of food just wasn't enough. He liked banana so I mixed it with other things, sweet potatoes, carrots, apples and pears. This did the trick and soon he was eating two tiny meals a day. And the poos? Well, for the first couple of weeks they were a mixed bag. Some dark wholegrain mustard type ones, some a slimy orange wallpaper paste variety, some just the same as before. Gently dabbing his bum with cotton wool was a complete waste of time so I used wet flannels or J-cloths instead. To change the nappy of a wriggly child at this stage you need a large tarpaulin, a change of clothes for the baby, protective clothing for yourself, 3 or 4 trained helpers ideally including a professional children's entertainer and a non squeamish disposition.

But it didn't last long. After a month of eating 3 dinky meals a day he produces a very neat little lump of poo first thing in the morning and maybe one in the afternoon if he is in the mood. Lumps are actually easier to deal with. The nappy liner collects it all, the clean edges of the liner are a handy wipe, you can flush the lump away and compost or bin the liner. If I have my bad mother hat on and leave him for a while the lump is easy to remove but anything he has sat and squished in sets quickly so I try to change him soon, it saves bum scrubbing and arguments. My cotton wool days are over and the dirty J-Cloths just get thrown in the wash with everything else.

And the smell? Well, put it this way; you can tell when he needs changing!

The Mothers Milk Marketing Board at http://www.lactivist.co.uk sells pro-breastfeeding and gentle parenting advocacy slogan t-shirts and accessories for funky mums and kids.