Salespeople are sometimes surprised by the actions of their clients and prospects. They feel fooled or misled and become disillusioned and disappointed when prospects don't behave the way they expect them to.

Not only are they surprised by the actions of others, they often are surprised or confused by their own behaviors. They set goals and become determined to achieve them, yet time and again fail to hit the targets they've set. Have you ever looked back on a month, a quarter or a year and wondered why you didn't accomplish everything we wanted? The answer often lies in your language.

There is a direct correlation between what people say out loud and how they behave. If you learn to listen carefully to others (and to yourself) you can uncover people's true intentions and set your expectations of their behavior so that you are not surprised or disappointed.

There are three key phrases to listen for when attempting to predict someone's behavior; "I want to", "I have to" and "I should". Let's look at each of these a little closer.

When someone says "I want to" do something, you can generally count on that thing being accomplished. People are driven by their desires and are very capable of manipulating circumstances to get the things they really want. Think of the last time you bought a new car. Did you really need it? Was your old one so hopelessly worn out and unusable that you couldn't repair it? Or did you simply want a new one? Did you see an advertisement or did your neighbor get a new car and you simply got the "I want" bug? Did you really have the money for a new car?

Your prospects are no different. When they really want something, especially something that will enhance their prestige or standing to others, they'll do and pay whatever they must to get it. When you hear your prospects say "I want" they are sold. Likewise, when you say "I want" to achieve something, you'll get it done. Frame your goals in your mind as "I wants" and you're well on your way to achieving them.

"I have to" is another phrase that means you're well on your way to a sale or a personal accomplishment. When we "have to" do something it means our backs are up against the wall, we are in a position that if we don't do it, we'll have to face dire consequences. For example, you may not want to pick your kids up from daycare, but you "have to". It may not be convenient for you, but because leaving them there would cause such dire consequences, you do it anyway. When you hear "I have to" from your prospect, he no longer has a choice in the purchase process. If you have what he needs, he is now your client.

"I should" is a really dangerous phrase for salespeople. We hear it every day from our prospects and if we aren't paying attention we mishear it as "I will". "I should" means this is probably a good idea, but it's really not important enough for me to do anything about it. When you hear this treacherous phrase, don't start counting your commissions. Unless you can move the prospect to an "I want to" or "I have to" position, there is no close in sight.

One of the main reasons salespeople don't hit their goals is that they are made mostly of "I shoulds". Your goals seem like good ideas when you are setting them, but because they aren't compelling enough, you never make the full commitment to achieve them.

Spend the next month listening closely to yourself and your prospects and set your expectations accordingly. You'll be amazed at the things you hear, and more importantly, at the behaviors you observe.

Will Turner is the Founder and President of Dancing Elephants Achievement Group, a sales training and consulting company. Will has over 20 years of sales and sales management experience and is the author of over 150 sales-related articles and programs as well as the co-author of the book, Six Secrets of Sales Magnets. Will can be reached at Will@dancingelephants.net.