On rare occasions, when a well-meaning Christian discovers that I prefer home churches to traditional denominational gatherings and am not affiliated with any particular group - although I'm asked to minister in many - it has happened that their discovery is met with a negative response, assuming I must have been hurt and require a ministerial tourniquet.

Truth is, just as it is with so many others, yes, I was hurt. But Jesus, my Redeemer and Healer, ministered to me, bound up my wounds and turned me loose on the enemy. The Father has used certain negative, manmade circumstances over the years to get me to recognize that what I was calling "The Church" had no semblance to anything described within the pages of Scripture, nor does it bare any resemblance to the Church in the third world, the persecuted corners of the Earth - the ONLY places on the planet where Christianity is actually thriving, by the way. In his multi-faceted, multi-purposeful, loving way, God also used the situations in which I had been placed to help me realize a few things about myself. Perhaps, as you read this message, you may realize a few of those things about yourself as well.

I was once the Singles Pastor of a church with nearly 3,000 people on the role. One outdoor event we held had hundreds of singles attend. I baptized 16 in a river that cool October day. I left that church after 5 years with a much-beloved couple who felt led to start a House Church. We grew so fast we felt compelled to find a building and establish "Church as usual," in accordance with the prescribed methods we had all been taught. We grew to 300 in no time. It lasted eight years. I served there as the Assistant Pastor and left after seven years when I was asked to step down from serving in the thriving Children's ministry. I won't elaborate, but it was political. I had thirty volunteers serving with me and the kids were being trained to minister and were active in all capacities of Church-Life from ushers to musicians. They LOVED outreaches in the poorest of neighborhoods, manning the puppet shows, passing out groceries and praying door-to-door. Finally, I moved two hours south to be nearer to my family. Within a year after I left, the church closed its doors. There were less than twenty attending by then, I was told. My ministry, health, family and personal life have flourished ever since.

These days, I am an avid House Churcher who, through relationships and the leading of the Holy Spirit, find myself being invited to speak to Christians of many denominations in a variety of settings. In our House Church, we have seen miracles, deliverances, and lives changed regularly. Something I attribute to one thing: we love each other. There is unity there and it commands a blessing from on high.

THE SMITING OF THE SHEPHERD

Why do pastors leave the ministry? A research paper by Dean Hoge and Jacqueline Wenger reveal several main reasons:

(1) preference for another form of ministry
(2) the need to care for children or family
(3) conflict in the congregation
(4) conflict with denominational leaders
(5) burnout or discouragement
(6) sexual misconduct
(7) and divorce or marital problems.

Two of these factors are especially important: conflict and a preference for specialized ministry. A close third is the experience of burnout, discouragement, stress and overwork.

Their study is part of the larger Pulpit and Pew research project on the state of pastoral ministry, based at Duke Divinity School, funded by the Lilly Endowment. The authors conducted extensive interviews with clergymen and women who have left Protestant church ministry, voluntarily or involuntarily, and with denominational leaders from five denominations including the Assemblies of God, the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, the Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod, the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) and the United Methodist Church. Another heart-wrenching book that I read years ago, Shattered Vows, is an expose' on Catholic priests and why they leave their callings. The reasons are similar to their Protestant counterparts, as I recall.

Hoge and Wenger learned that, in many denominations, a standard of dependence between clergy and leadership is set that is hard to live up to. Also, things such as greater freedom of choice and the tendency of a minister's spouse to choose to work outside the home have made the desired pastoral model increasingly hard to find. The study reveals: "the more a pastor's career is determined by his or her denomination, the more conflict that pastor will potentially feel with denominational leaders."

Conflict with church leadership looms large. The #1 conflict issues cited by pastors who left ministry were:

(1) pastoral leadership style
(2) church finances
(3) changes in worship style
(4) staff relationships and
(5) building projects.

Organizational and interpersonal issues, rather than doctrinal differences or hot-button issues such as homosexuality, were the most likely to motivate ministers to leave a congregation. The study states: "Most notable about the main conflicts experienced by ministers who left parish ministry is their 'everyday,' prosaic nature." Hoge and Wenger "came to believe that the conflicts most often experienced by our participants are ones that could probably be resolved and in the process offer growth experiences for both pastor and congregation."

Sadly, isolation and loneliness contributed directly or indirectly to a pastor's decision to ship out. Of those who left due to sexual misconduct, 75 percent indicated that they were lonely and isolated. In all five denominational groups, the top motivating factors for leaving were the same. Pastors reported:

"I felt drained by demands."
"I felt lonely and isolated."
"I did not feel supported by denominational officials."
"I felt bored and constrained."

Hoge and Wenger discovered one glaring similarity regarding pastors who have left local church ministry: "These pastors ..., for whatever reason [were] not part of ministerial friendship groups or action groups."

Where intimate relationships are concerned, I've discovered that many pastors have none. Face it, who can they open up to where they might not become an item of betraying gossip, perceived as weak, or jeopardize their own job? In my own life, I find myself repeatedly serving as a sounding board and prayer partner for those in ministry - even online. Just who can these men and women talk to for seeking wise counsel?

BREAKING OUT IS HARD TO DO

Leaving ministry is hard to do, and those who have stepped down from the pastoral role admit "there are at least parts of ministry" that they miss. According to the study: "Their accounts were remarkably consistent: they most missed leading worship and being a meaningful part of people's lives." Those who were forced to leave the ministry for another vocation under circumstances not of their own choosing, or who felt that they had in some way been mistreated, mourned the job loss most intensely. The researchers mentioned that several of their interviews were interrupted when ministers broke down in tears. Former pastors who were content with their new vocational setting also told of their love for local church ministry.

One issue that concerns me is the authors' assumption that friendship among pastors, though important, is inherently limited because "ministers feel unavoidable competition with each other, which gets in the way of forming healthy support groups." In my own hometown, where I serve as the Marketing guru for the local Chamber of Commerce, many of the 80+ ministries in town have joined our ranks. It's wonderful to see these men and women serving alongside in their matching "Ambassador" blazers or serving on committees together or chatting and laughing at a mixer.

Another opportunity in which many churches participate is something we call "Operation: Jesus." So far, pastors and people from numerous churches have co-mingled and gone out in teams to canvas the county and pray at people's doorsteps. To date, after three "missions," we've knocked on 30,000 doors. In my last outing, my team consisted of a Baptist preacher of a church of 300, a Disciples of Christ youth minister, a Baptist nurse, two House Churchers, and an Assemblies of God woman. I recall speaking with the secretary of the Lutheran church who reported that she had the most memorable time, along with her daughter, knocking and praying alongside the pastor's wife from the Assemblies of God and her daughter. It's quite disarming when individuals from different churches knock on a door to pray. Why? Obviously, they aren't recruiting.

I believe such relationships may be the key to sustaining pastors over time and not simply during crises. The study says: "...it is the kind of collegiality that is crucial to the cultivation of self-knowledge, relational intelligence, the capacity to remain dynamically engaged with one's work and the ability to identify and negotiate conflict, all of which are relevant to preventing the dynamics that cause clergy to leave pastoral ministry." Such interaction produces unity and with unity comes power.

Where there is disunity, we are essentially snake food.

Hoge also authored a book on the Roman Catholic clergy, The First Five Years of the Priesthood, in which he writes that one of the most important findings of his research was that priests left the ministry because they "felt lonely and unappreciated." Loneliness was the one factor always present among the various reasons priests resigned in their early years of ministry. Hoge claims that when loneliness "is absent, resignation from the priesthood is unlikely. Whether a priest is heterosexual or homosexual, in love or not, it will not drive him to resign unless at the same time he feels lonely or unappreciated."

This same dynamic appears to be present among Protestant clergy.

A PASTOR'S TESTIMONY

An article by Bill Hull, Leadership Journal, Summer 2005, echoes similar sentiments. Hull pastored 20 years and is the founder of T-Net International, a ministry devoted to transforming churches into disciple-making communities. He's an author who, as a minister, had become frustrated by his perceived ineffectiveness as it pertained to the Great Commission in light of the Doctrine of Jesus. Something HAD to change.

He discovered that "something" was himself.

He writes, "We had just commissioned 83 new members. It was a proud moment. The newly initiated throng made their way off the platform, while I moved closer to the congregation to begin my sermon.

"This is great, isn't it?" I began. "But before we get too giddy about new members, let me ask you a question. Why should we bring 83 new people into something that isn't working?" He continued, too far along to turn back now, "Something is wrong," he said. "It has been tormenting me for several years. All the formulas, strategic planning, mission statements and visionary sermons are not making disciples."

Bill was being tormented by these truths. Where was the personal transformation after all the effort we put into weekend services, Bible studies, small groups, and outreach events? His 52-life-changing sermons weren't bearing any fruit. He was stuck in the same rut that so many pastors find themselves in, i.e., religious activity without real transformation. He was what you'd call Successful and Unsatisfied.

He writes, "At age 50 I found myself successful but unsatisfied. I was hooked on results, addicted to recognition, and a product of my times. I was a get-it-done leader who was ready to lead people into the rarified air of religious competition. Like so many pastors, I was addicted to what others thought of me."

Nobody can share Bill's testimony the way Bill can. Read on:

"As I stood before the people that morning, I was prepared to pour out my soul, even my desperation. I was nearing the end of a three-year reshaping of my person, and I had morphed in such a way that I could never go back. Bill Hull, the Disciple Making Pastor (at least the guy who'd written a book by that title), had been broken by God.

"For three years people had been steadily leaving our church. It was the most painful experience of my pastoral life, and so many times I wanted to run away. But God spoke to me powerfully one morning as I lay prostrate on my office floor. "Bill, I am going to break you; don't run." I wanted to run, I prayed about running, I asked others about finding a better fit (a.k.a. running), but I couldn't bring myself to do it.

"Most of the people who left the church hadn't left because of conviction but because of feelings or the opinions of friends. Believe it or not, people don't usually do a lot of research, and then act in accordance with biblical truth, when choosing to leave a church. As more people departed, it felt like a plague had descended on us, but it wasn't just poisoning our community