I have created and written about the "Emotional Maturity Quotient" or EMQ here in this ezine. One of the dimensions of the EMQ is "Self Confidence".

How does one develop self confidence? Well to answer this question we must start with a clear definition of what we mean by it.

Self confidence is not simply a trait that you either have enough of or you don't. Rather it is something that you "do"!

This becomes evident when we reverse the words and therefore get: "confidence in your self".

To have confidence in your self you first need to know what we mean by "Self".

Self is that experience that you feel within when you say the word "Myself". Where do you feel that word resonating within your body?

Now this is a bit of a tricky exercise for those individuals who are so used to "thinking" of themselves as residing in their mind, brain or personality. You see a "thought" is not a feeling and therein lays the problem for such individuals.

That is because the "thinking" process actually distracts one from the "feeling" process and hence the latter becomes subjugated to the former. Hence when I ask you "where do you FEEL the word Myself resonating inside" you likely automatically jump into the "thinking mode" and feel very little.

So this means that you will not find the location of the Self inside you and hence the concept of "having confidence" in something that you can't even locate is absurd, isn't it?

You see this is one of the main reasons why most people have trouble with self confidence i.e. they can't locate the feeling of the Self within themselves.

So let me help you here a bit if this is your problem.

Think of something that you really enjoy or love doing.

Stay with that experience for a moment and as you do notice where you feel those "loving feelings".

If you take the time to do this I know that sooner or later you will come to the realization that those feelings originate over your chest or over you heart region.

So when you say to yourself "I love this" that feeling of love is originating in you heart. What's even more interesting is that the "I" is also in your heart. In other words you are in your heart. So are you getting s clearer picture of where the Self really lives.

So if we go back a bit and look at having confidence in the Self this essentially is equivalent to having confidence in your heart.

So I ask you, is this something you are in the habit of doing?

Well if you're like most people you have been schooled, indeed conditioned to trust your mind and not your heart, correct?

Why is that? Well because the heart has gotten a bad reputation as something that is fickle, hard to read, overly emotional, etc. and therefore untrustworthy.

So most people have become conditioned to avoid turning to their hearts and therefore their Self. Instead they turn to the ever changing landscape of beliefs that they store in their minds.

I emphasize the term "ever-changing" here in order to highlight the fact that it is not fixed. So how comfortable do you feel "trusting" something that is unstable and changing.

Doesn't this make you feel a bit anxious, shaky, uncertain, vulnerable, afraid, inadequate and so on? Do you know what this constellation represents? It's what you call "having low self confidence"!

We all have become so conditioned to rely on the ever-changing landscape of beliefs that are being stored in our minds daily that we find it difficult to shift out of this unhelpful groove and settle once and for all into that inner wisdom that emerges from within the Self.

You see, if you're honest with your Self you'll recognize that when you feel love for something you also feel a sense of inner peace, security, joy, contentment and an overall good feeling about yourself. This is what is called "having self confidence"!

If you would like support in getting there then kindly visit the web link below and set up an introductory consultation with me.

Dr. Nick Arrizza is trained in Chemical Engineering, Business Management & Leadership, Medicine and Psychiatry. He is an Energy Psychiatrist, Healer, Key Note Speaker,Editor of a New Ezine Called "Spirituality And Science" (which is requesting high quality article submissions) Author of "Esteem for the Self: A Manual for Personal Transformation" (available in ebook format on his web site), Stress Management Coach, Peak Performance Coach & Energy Medicine Researcher, Specializes in Life and Executive Performance Coaching, is the Developer of a powerful new tool called the Mind Resonance Process(TM) that helps build physical, emotional, mental and spiritual well being by helping to permanently release negative beliefs, emotions, perceptions and memories. He holds live workshops, international telephone coaching sessions and international teleconference workshops on Physical. Emotional, Mental and Spiritual Well Being.

Web Site: http://www.telecoaching4u.com/IntroConsult.htm