Fellow Publicity Insiders, what does this phrase mean?

"We envision a center of excellence where our accelerated change
agents can maximize their core competencies."

Huh? - or - "The company is a global leader in pressure-sensitive
technology and innovative self-adhesive solutions for consumer
products and label materials."

Clue: they make stickers.

Pity the poor reporters who have to dig through this pile of
drivel to find a news story. Free help is here. Bullfighter, an
aptly-named software program from Deloitte Consulting, works like
a spelling checker program to spot questionable words and phrases
in Microsoft Word and PowerPoint documents.