Prescription for a Broken Heart
Being heartbroken is a pain that no one can understand until
they have experienced it for themselves. You obviously have,
therefore are aware of how fragile your heart is right now.
Healing a broken heart will take time, but is not impossible,
though it may feel that way at the time. It is never an easy
process to go through, but with the right prescription, you will
be on your way to recovery and happiness again.
The first thing you should keep in mind is that it is okay to
feel sad and grieve about what happened and that you are not
stupid for doing so. It is perfectly normal to feel sad and cry
after a break up. You have invested most of your time and all of
your love and interest into your ex-partner; therefore will go
through a sad and painful withdrawal. It is notable that you not
grieve all on your own. Sure, there will be times when you will
just want to be alone and undisturbed. However, it is important
that you talk to your friends and family about it. Talking about
it is not only healthy, but will mend your heart quicker because
you will release the thoughts and facts that are hurting you so
much. Seeking professional advice will be a great help to you as
well because your mind will open up and see new perspectives and
understandings of what happened. It will help you gather your
strength, pick yourself up, and find the happiness you deserve
to have.
Accepting the fact that you and your ex-partner are no longer
together is a necessity if you are going to start mending your
broken heart. If you catch yourself unable to function due to
constantly thinking about your ex or repeatedly calling or
visiting him or her for another chance, then chances are you are
suffering from love addiction and should seek counseling.
Discontinuing a serious relationship is emotionally challenging
and can drive you to do things that are unhealthy for your
self-being. To avoid entering such hazardous areas, keep
yourself occupied. Go out with your friends and family to help
get your mind off the break up. It is best to spend as less time
alone as you can in the first few weeks of your breakup so that
your emotions can slowly and patiently form back into their
normal pattern.
Fight the thoughts that tell you that you are a failure and are
to blame for the end of your relationship. When a relationship
ends it means that the two of you were no longer compatible and
that always takes two, not just you. Instead of beating yourself
up over what has transpired, examine your ex-relationship by
listing the things you enjoyed most about it and then the things
that disappointed you and what you believe really caused the
breakup. Look at the relationship as a learning experience and
an opportunity to improve your relationship skills, and a way to
realize what you truly need and want from a romantic
relationship.
Learning to forgive yourself and your ex-lover will speed up the
healing process for the reason that you will feel more peaceful
and calm about it. Hating your ex will only build up tension and
stress in your life, causing your emotions to slow down from
getting back to order. One way to avoid bitterness against your
ex-partner is to look at the breakup as a favor. Appreciate
their honesty of no longer wanting to pursue the relationship,
instead of giving you high hopes for a possible future together.
It is always an advantage to exit a relationship that had no
chances to survive than to be misled.
Conquer your fear of being alone. You need to help yourself
understand that it is not abnormal to be on your own and that
your values come from who are rather than whom you are with.
Teach yourself that there is more to life than romantic
relationships by spending quality time with your friends and
family. Learn more about whom the other people in your life are
and introduce more of yourself to them as well. Go out and do
things together and treat yourself to something you enjoy,
whether it is your favorite restaurant, shopping, going to the
movies, or anything else. Learning to you be your own best
friend will not only improve your relationship with yourself,
but with others as well. As you begin to discover the other
beauties of life and yourself, you will become more stable and
stronger to face anything that crosses your path, such as a new
relationship in the future.
Before you consider entering another relationship, take a step
back and ask yourself why you want to do so. Make sure that you
are not entering a new relationship on a rebound. This will only
leave you with unfinished emotions and you will never have
closure from your former relationship. Never begin a new
relationship because you are afraid of being on your own, or
feel the need to just be in a relationship. Form a relationship
with someone new because you feel strong and secure on your very
own and feel that you are ready to attempt a new romance. Take
it one step at a time and keep in mind of what your needs and
desires are from a person and observe closely to see if they
show signs of the qualities you are looking for. As soon as you
notice that he or she is not, then get out of it as soon as
possible. Learning from your previous relationships will come in
very handy because you will be able to prevent similar
situations in the future, leading you to meeting the people who
fit your description of a perfect partner.
Lastly, remind yourself that love is a wonderful feeling and
experience and should not be generalized based on your past
experiences. Do not use facts about your ex as a way to judge
new people in your life. Leave your past behind you and focus on
moving ahead. Get to know new people for who they are, not by
comparing them to others, what they are not, or what they could
be. Once you have observed their personality, values and
everything else, trust yourself to make the right decisions
without constantly doubting yourself. If you wish to try having
a new relationship, then do so. If you do not however, then do
not feel guilty to kindly walk away from the situation. You
would be doing both you and the other a person a huge favor and
saving time and emotions from being hurt. You have nothing to
fear or worry about. After all, there will always be one person
who will always love you, appreciate who you are and be there
for you. . . and that is YOU.
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Alina Ruigrok is an independent relationship expert for
http://www.love-sessions.com helping those in need of dating,
love, relationship, marital, sexual and other personal advice
through e-sessions.