Several years ago, my husband introduced me to some potential clients of his at a summer picnic. A few glasses of wine for me and many people seem wonderful, situations are funnier and life is more comfortable. But, I do not drink regularly so without those wine glasses the next day it can appear as if warts are everywhere.

As the first year relationship with this couple grew, my internal barometer was unreliable. The judgment wart was hardened. Once believing this couple to be genuinely real and personable, I began to criticize, at least her. This was a successful, intelligent, attractive woman who would almost on all occasions be drunk. When being around drunken behavior is uncomfortable, my tendency was to push away the feeling of discomfort and slip into a more satisfying judge position. Somehow, we continued in each other