Communicating with your Teens
Having two teens of my own I have learned a few things about
communicating with them. Each of knows how important it is to
have communication with your teen. I would like to share these
few steps with you to lead you to better communication with your
teens.
1. Always, Always, Always, have an open line of communication
with your teen. This is one of the most important steps. If your
teen knows that they can come to you and talk to you knowing
that you will listen at any time will keep that teen coming back
over and over. It will also keep you the parent on top of your
teen's life.
2. Make sure that your teen knows that you will hear them out.
Don't stop them right in the middle and cut them off. It makes
us as parents mad when teens do it to us so please don't do it
to them. A teen wants parents that are going to listen to
everything that they have to say to the end. Then give the teen
your opinion, advice, or input on the matter.
3. Always be open-minded when it comes to communication.
Remember you were a teen once too. If your teen is coming to you
in the first place they must value your opinion and feel that
they won't regret coming to you. So always try and put yourself
in their shoes before you offer your advice.
4. Try not to lecture your teen when they have made a point to
come to you. No teen wants to come to their parents about
something and end up in a two hour lecture. And if you do
lecture them your teen might not come back next time. I'm not
saying to tell your teen what they want to hear. I am simply
saying give them your honest opinion good or bad. Say it once
and drop it. Your teen will know how you feel about the matter
and usually takes it to heart when making their final decision.
5. Let your teen know that when they do come to you that you
enjoy talking with them or that it really makes you feel closer
to them by having some communication with them. Always try and
end you conversations on a happy note. Teens will be more
willing to come back in the future for more advice or even just
for you to listen. Sometimes our teens will not need advice just
an ear to listen to a problem or to unload the bad day that they
may have had.
6. Always remember this one. Try to give your teen respect. Give
them as much respect as you think they need to give you. Give
respect get respect in return. It is a pretty proven fact.
Another big thing is respect their privacy. If we stuck our nose
in our teens life all the time. What would they have to come to
us about? Your teen would feel that you already know.
7. This one is a big one too. Please whatever you do keep what
you and your teen talk about to yourself. Don't go and tell the
first person you see what you and your teen discussed. It will
eventually get back to your teen and all that trust that your
teen thought they had with you is gone in an instant. Not
including the humiliation of hearing their problem being told to
them by God only knows who. It is just so important that you
keep it just between you and you're teen.
Following these few steps had proven for me that I can have good
communication with my teens. My teens know that they can come to
me about anything. When you do this with your kids they will
take it with them when raising their own children and carry it
over to them. It's a win, win situation for generations to come.
Communication is needed in this day and time for us as parents
to help keep our children safe.