Older Siblings And Jealousy.
Are you expecting another addition to your family but are
concerned how your child will react to the new brother or sister
to come? You are not alone because in fact a lot of second time
parents have the same concerns as you are experiencing now. Are
there things you can do in order to prevent or limit the
jealousy which may occur when a second child arrives into your
family?
Naturally there are no guarantees on how your older child will
react when you bring your newborn back home and everything might
turn out to be just fine. You can be among the lucky ones who's
older child shows nothing but pride, love, joy and excitement
over having a younger sibling. He or she can end up being the
greatest helper around the house and with the baby.
Unfortunately things does not always turn out this way and more
often than not you will see a lot of rivalry and jealousy come
from the older child. This is not a very pleasant experience for
anyone in the household and believe it or not it can be very
hard on the older child who probably feel left out and less
loved than before, not understanding that this is not the case.
In order to try and prevent this situation from happening some
adjustment and preparing need to be started already early in
your pregnancy. Something that is very important is to be open
and honest with your child, include him/her in everything going
on and explain what is about to happen. Make your child feel
important and let him know that you can't do this without his
help.
By doing this you will make him or her feel very important and
from the beginning this new baby will be a part of his/her new
responsibility. Let your child know what will be the things that
you expect, for example; check on the baby when it is sleeping,
help feed the baby, help give the baby baths and since he/she is
the oldest he has to teach the baby things because a baby knows
nothing.
If you are able to convey these responsibilities to your child
you will most likely find "a child on a mission" after the baby
is born. Despite all of these new chores there is another thing
that needs to be done every day, the most important thing of
all, reassure your oldest child that you love him/her just the
same as before maybe even more for being such a great
brother/sister. Always include your oldest child, never push
him/her away and always make sure to spend quality time with
him/her alone.
These are some great ways to include your child and prepare
him/her for the arrival of the new baby and it may even help
prevent some of the jealousy which often occurs with the birth
of a new baby. The earlier you start including your child the
better, you can even bring your child along for your doctor's
appointments where he or she can meet the doctor and see what is
actually is going on.
Visiting mom in the hospital after the baby is born is also a
very good thing, it prepares the child for the homecoming and
that mom will not be coming back alone. The child now needs to
get ready for his/her responsibilities as the older sibling. As
long as they know they are loved and know they are big enough to
help out you might have hardly any problems at all when it comes
to jealousy and rivalry from your older child.