How To Help Your Child Build Positive
Almost all delinquency and serious behavioral problems in
children (at home and in schools) are connected to poor
self-esteem.
But first of all, what is self-esteem? It is a belief that we
belong and are accepted, strong and capable and loved.
You want your child to form positive beliefs, to find positive
ways to belong, don't you? It is much easier for you to have
that if your child has strong self-esteem. In fact, self-esteem
is important for all of us, both children and adults.
Unfortunately many people in this world are having weak
self-esteem which holds them back in their personal development
and growth. And if that is serious enough, it leads to crime and
many social and family problems.
Browse through any newspaper and count the number of negative
news you can find there and you will see what I mean. For
example, people beating up each other, killing one another,
stealing, robbing, committing suicide etc. Often, the root of
all these problems is deal to poor self-esteem.
Positive self-esteem helps us to handle life in a more positive
way. It helps us get through problems.
You may have heard this before: 'A person's character is almost
fully formed by the age of 6.' And I agree fully with it. It is
extremely important for parents to help their children build
positive self-esteem, characters and belief in their self worth
during their early years of life.
Show Respect
One way to help build your children's self-esteem is through
respect. Respect yourself and respect your children. In doing
this, you show your child how to treat you and others with
regards.
Respect Yourself
Children often learn by observing their parents' behavior. When
come to educating children, it is not what parents say but what
they do in daily life will have a greater impact to their
children development. Hence when you respect yourself, you child
has an example to follow. There are a number of ways to build
you own self-respect. You will want to:
Develop your own interests and goals.
Use your sense of humor
Take time for yourself
Learn what you are good at.
Notice your efforts, not just your achievements.
Remember that you are worthwhile just because you are you, not
because you are a good mom or dad.
Have a positive mindset about yourself and others.
Know that you will make parenting mistakes and that you child
will not hold anything against you.
Help Your Child Learn Respect
Young children do not naturally show respect for others.
Normally, they think only about themselves. I am sure you have
heard your young children say things like:
'That's mine!'
'I don't want others to take the book. I want to read it by
myself.'
You can't expect your child to be as respectful as adult. But
young children can learn to respect other people over time. They
learn this when we treat them with respect, and also learn from
us when we treat others with regards. And it is never too early
or late to begin teaching children about respect.
How To Teach Respect?
Be considerate. Show that you love and value your child.
Consider your child's feeling:
'You look unhappy today my dear. Would you like to tell me what
has happened?'
'I was just thinking about you in the office just now. I am so
happy to see you at home.'
'I know you're sad because you didn't get what to hope to
achieve for your test. Can I give you a hug? And would you like
to talk about it?'
Recognize and appreciate your child's uniqueness, achievements
and efforts. Take notice of the special things about your child:
'What a happy and cheerful laugh that I have just heard! You
like to tell me about it?'
'You write so well today. Just compare this with your previous
work here. Wow! There's a great improvement, isn't it?'
'You have so much strength nowadays. Do you mind to help Papa to
carry this bag of groceries?'
Support your child's interest. Take an interest in what you
child enjoys doing:
'I know you like to be a doctor when you grow up. Let's go to
the library and borrow more books about human bodies and
nutrition. Shall we?'
'You like to paint. Shall we draw something so that you can use
the poster color and brush to paint?'
Offer your child with choices. Letting your child choose and
decide help to encourage positive power and decision making
skill:
'Which dress would you like to wear today? The pink or the white
one?'
'We are all hungry now. What'd you want to eat for dinner?'
Help your child learn from mistakes. Mistakes are good to help
children learn if they are not something too serious. Parents
must learn to accept that making mistakes is part of their
learning process. Mistakes help children grow and become
stronger.
Do you remember how your child learns to walk? She fell and
probably knocked her head many time before she could walked by
herself. Did you scold her for falling down while learning how
to walk? No, right? So why should you scold or punish your child
if she does not do something quite right in other areas of
learning?
Learn to accept that it is perfectly normal for your child to
make mistakes in her learning and your child will become better.
In fact, it is abnormal to expect children to always get things
done in the right way without making mistakes. Don't you think
so?
'Your rice got spilled out from your bowl. I'm sure next time
you'll know that you must be more careful. Let's clean it up
with this cloth.'
'When papa was at your age, I couldn't even count yet. You are
so much better than me. I am sure with a little practice and
being more careful, you will get all the sums right.'