Monitoring Your Teens for Drug Use without Appearing to be
Spying
Even if your teenagers do not use drugs, you still need to keep
an eye on them. It is much better to realize that things could
change, and anticipate that your teen COULD become a user.
Essentially, it is not wise to make assumptions about topics
such as drug use. Also, having been a high school teacher
afforded me the opportunity to witness peer pressure, and how
even good kids could be convinced to try drugs - just to fit in.
It is important that you play a proactive role in ensuring that
your teenagers and the rest of your family remains drug free.
About drug use Initially, I learned that the signs of drug use
included three basic symptoms: * A loss of interest in hobbies *
A change in friends * A drop in grades
What I later discovered was that not seeing these symptoms only
provides a false sense of security regarding teenagers and
potential drug use. The above behaviors apply more to signs of
"drug addiction," as opposed to "experimental" drug use.
Teens who experiment with drugs don't start out addicted so
logically, they do not show any symptoms. They generally look
healthy and nothing seems to be wrong. In fact, teens can
casually use drugs for over a year before their parents would
even suspect any drug or alcohol use.
Many teenagers who decide to experiment with drugs start out
casually, using them with friends and then progressing towards
regular use. It is important that you look for clues pertaining
to casual drug use so that if your teen is prone, you can
proactively deal with it.
What you can do You need to monitor your teen's behavior and
watch for signs of drug use, without appearing to be spying.
Your goal should be to prevent him or her from feeling free to
experiment with drugs or alcohol. The best way to accomplish
this is to keep abreast of your teen's activities and friends.
You will be able to spot a problem early if you keep your eyes
and ears open, and believe that YOUR teenager is capable of
using drugs. Many parents get blind-sided by thinking that their
teen would never try drugs. Only then will you be ready to
intervene if the situation presents itself.
The following are ten ways to monitor your teenager's behavior
and watch for signs of drug use, without appearing to be spying:
1. Hug your teen as soon as s/he arrives home. Check for odors
of possible marijuana smoke or alcohol. Remember that cologne or
chewing gum may be used to hide the odor.
2. Teenagers under the influence will usually go straight to
their room when they arrive home. While making eye contact, hold
a brief conversation. Check for bloodshot eyes, slurred speech
and their sense of balance.
3. Keep the lights on and stay up until your teenager comes
home.
4. Ask your teen for the time and watch the way s/he looks at
his or her watch.
5. If your teenager unexpectedly wants to spend the night at a
friend's house, and you have concerns, say no.
6. Maintain a flexible schedule. Be unpredictable so your teen
cannot find it easy to plan around your activities.
7. Keep abreast of what your teen is really doing when away from
home. Meet their friends and their parents and participate in
mutual activities. This is a very effective form of networking.
8. Ask your neighbors to discretely keep an eye on any
activities that may take place while you are not home.
9. Check to see how your teens are doing in school. Ask their
teachers if there is any cause for concern or if your teen has
been behaving differently.
10. After you meet your teenager's friends, always ask them to
identify themselves when they call. Get to know them. Always
encourage your teens to invite their friends over while you are
home.
Remember, your goal should be to prevent your teenager from
feeling free to experiment with drugs or alcohol. The best way
to accomplish this is to keep abreast of their activities and
friends using the above methods.
Lastly, but most important, talk to your teenager on a regular
basis about the drug use she witnesses, and how she feels about
it. Also, if she has been approached, have her describe how she
handled the situation. Strive for honesty and ask how you can
help her to remain drug free.