Developing a Healthy Self-Esteem in Your Child
Developing a Healthy Self Esteem in Your Child
Children with healthy self-esteems try hard in school, get along
well with others, hold a "can-do" attitude about life, and feel
positive about their environment. They can accept ups and downs
graciously. The opposite is true of children who suffer from low
self-esteems. These children compare themselves to others and
never feel they have done well enough. They are frustrated
easily and fear risk and challenge. Children with low
self-esteems can easily fall prey to peer pressure, eating
disorders, and other dangers.
You can help a child who has a low self-esteem by examining the
reasons behind it. You can also encourage the continuity of
those children who have healthy self-esteems. By using a
positive, can-do attitude in your home, you will pass that
attitude on to your child. Try the following ideas to encourage
a positive self-esteem:
EXAMINE YOURSELF AND YOUR ATTITUDE Children learn by example. If
you hold a high self-esteem and think positively, odds are your
child will to. If you suffer from a low self-esteem you will
need to examine your current patterns of thinking and work on
changing them.
SEEK OUT THE POSITIVE This does not mean you need to be a
Pollyanna but you should search for the positive side of things.
When your child comes to you with a problem, ask questions and
pursue the positive side. The same goes for how you act in your
own endeavors. When things go wrong look for the up side.
RELATE TO YOUR CHILD Parent's often will sit and tell the
humorous stories of their past. There is probably much more your
child would like to hear. When your child comes to you with a
dilemma, share your own experience. Even though you may be years
apart your child may find relief that you have had times of
self-doubt and concern.
WHY ASK WHY? If your child uses statements like "I can't" or
other statements that show he is frustrated or giving up, ask
"Why can't you?" Asking these questions may frustrate your child
and you may hear answers like "I don't know... I just can't!"
Try bringing the subject up later when the intensity of the
situation has lessened. Then ask "Earlier today you said you
could not solve that puzzle, why don't you think you could solve
it?" By exploring reasons together you may find the source of a
low self-esteem.
IDENTIFY STRENGTHS Another way to increase self-esteem is to
emphasize a child's strong points. If he is good in art but
doesn't do well in sports--work with him and praise him on his
art. By developing a feeling of confidence in one area, that
confidence may spread into another area of a child's life.
PRAISE AND ENCOURAGEMENT Praise and encouragement are essential
vitamins for a child. Encourage all children and praise them for
situations where they put their "all" into it, no matter what
the result. Filling your vocabulary with positive statements and
providing a positive environment are big steps in helping your
child build a healthy self-esteem.