Responsible Fatherhood - A Unique And Irreplaceable Role!
Something happened the other day that made me feel uneasy. Yet
I shouldn't have felt that way!
My wife had left for work and I was hanging the washing out to
dry. A neighbour from down the way was in his backyard doing the
same. 'Good day for drying', he called. 'Let's hope the rain
stays away.'
I had to think about what made me uneasy. Then it hit me. Two
men hanging out the washing!
When I was a kid that would never have happened. That was
women's work, after all!
And that made me think about the changing role of men and
fatherhood.
Change is seldom easy, hence the deeply buried sense of unease -
even in someone like me who considers himself an enlightened
individual!
The image of fatherhood has changed very much in recent years,
hasn't it?
We've come a long way from the distant, unemotional, patriarch
figure. The god-like master who provided for his family, but
didn't expect to be troubled by family issues!
After World War II there was a definite shift. Men became much
more involved in the play and leisure areas of family life.
Maybe this was due to the separation caused by the war and
consequent feelings of vulnerability. But men still didn't get
involved in household chores!
Today we see a much more enlightened image of the male as a
co-parent, getting involved in all aspects of family life and
pulling his weight in the home.
Or do we? . . .
Are we really there yet? Some men are moving in the right
direction. Others need a gentle push!
Perhaps they need encouragement more than anything.
Young boys tend to see their dads as role models and often
absorb, even unconsciously, their dads attitudes and habits. So
if some of today's dads haven't witnessed and experienced the
input of an involved father, the role may not come easily to
them.
And yet a dad's involvement in family life has so much benefit
both for the children, the mother and the dad himself.
By pulling their weight with the household chores Dads give a
good example to their kids AND they help ease the burden on an
all too often over-burdened Mum.
By getting involved in play and educational activities Dads can
help build that vital relationship on which confidence depends:
their own confidence as parents and the confidence of their kids
- to explore and discover their talents and
abilities
- to learn the boundaries within which they
must operate
- to absorb the values of the person in
charge of them
So much to be gained, for all parties
involved!
So if Dad is a rather reluctant participant in family matters,
remember that as well as a firm push he may need lots of
encouragement.
After all, the role may not come easily since hundreds of years
on non-involvement are in his genes.
Let's all look forward to the day when hanging up the laundry is
no big deal for a Dad!
Happy parenting.