Ties that Bind

~ Ties that Bind ~ When growing up, if there was a sibling dispute, mom had the perfect solution. She would refuse to choose. In stead, mom would bang our heads together. She'd say that it takes two to fight ~ so we both got it. Now, that really hurt! But, it worked, every time. We'd hush, immediately. Though we didn't like it, we didn't dare say another word. Even today, we make effort to get a-long with family. Though, that doesn't solve all things ~ as we look to family for approval as to who we are. In that way, they still disappoints us ... always expecting something more. It may have developed as a result of the depression, when parents prayed that their children would never have to experience anything so hard. But, whatever the case, it use to be that adults believed the way to encourage their young, to be all that they could be, was to find fault with everything that could, yet, be improved upon. No doubt, somewhere, we've experienced, first hand, that mentality still lingering. Yet, the best tool we can provide is to receive our children as already valuable members; who's gifts, abilities, thoughts, heart, and feelings are important, received, and appreciated as unique and special creations of (not us, but) God. (Hey, this works in churches, too.) That's right. We're called upon to teach our children, but not to try to re-create them into an image of us or the us we had hoped to be ... no graven images. News Flash ... when God made you, your mate, children, siblings, friends, neighbors, boss, and even your preacher ... in all cases, God did not make a mistake. True, they will either be your heavenly cheerleaders or your heavenly sand paper. But, in either case, they have purpose. I once heard said that Jesus' family did not recognize who He was, spiritually ~ that they only knew Him as family. So, I imagine He knew that hurt, too. None-the-less, we may fail to realize that others are also looking at us to validate who they are. And though we can't be their everything, we can make sure our mouth doesn't call others things they are not. When we have checked our heart and motive, and our heart condemns us not, God is pleased. He doesn't look for perfect people, just perfect hearts ~ as God knows who we are spiritually. Therein is where we get our confidence, assurance, self esteem, and such. And even when our behavior is out of line, due to other's blows, God sees the source. Yet, as we grow in seeking and accepting only God's approval, we have less need to respond to negative input ~ as their opinion isn't what counts. When we depend upon people for our self worth, we set both them and us up to fail. People fail us. But, God never will.