Momma's Rules
Zero Tolerance Learning from Momma Momma's Rules
Our Daily Chores
When one has a larger family (in order to keep peace, harmony,
and sanity), structure and self-discipline become almost
mandatory for all parties therein. In addition, having come from
an abusive past, dissention of any kind threw mom into a
tailspin. Perhaps as a result, she was always teaching about
what love is and anything less was never going to be acceptable.
Though, her plan of defense accomplished multiple purposes at
the same time; keeping both house and home together for however
the Lord might call upon our family next.
And being that mom also had the gift of teaching, one always
knew there was purpose and benefit in her rules. The lessons
that constituted our daily chores went something like this ...
People tend to be polite, not only to others they do not like
but even to those that actually make them angry. They'll even
work at it, as to how to remove themselves from a situation in
which they really feel like exploding. And, most generally, that
is considered to be a good thing, to maintain one's composure
amidst adversity. However, they tend to take those bottled up
frustrations home with them, then take it out on ones they love
the most; which makes no sense. Why would you work harder toward
giving a right response to people you don't even care about than
you do when upset with those you love? And, why would you want
to keep hurting the people you really love and need?
Family is to stick together, to love each other, and to be there
for each other. When you make family your enemy, you will always
eventually lose. Besides, you may need them to be there for you,
some day.
It is never ever ok to hurt the people you love. Acts of
unkindness would be responded to with penalty and fighting met
with even further resistance; no exceptions.
1.) Part of being a valuable member to society is to take
responsibility for your own actions, instead of leaving whatever
mistake or mess you make for others to have to deal with. And,
not only is not very loving to expect mom to be your maid but,
in the real world, there will be no one to fix your messes or
mistakes.
So, a good place to begin learning accountability is this ... if
you make the mess, it is yours to clean up. In fact, this
doesn't even count as a chore. This is your responsibility as a
person, in addition to chores.
2.) Laziness is an ugly spirit, void of love; exemplary of one's
lack of wanting to be a participant of the whole. Not only is it
unkind and sometimes hurtful to neglect at other's expense, but
it is also dirty, unsanitary, and thoughtless of anyone besides
themselves. Therefore, it will not be tolerated.
Every child is to have one age appropriate chore assignment per
day, at least week days (whether that assignment includes more
than one chore or not); excluding the kitchen.
Then, if an additional family project is needed, it might be
taken up on a weekend (everyone pitching in); wherein mom made
working together fun and the job got done faster, too.
Being a part of a family is not something you can opt out of,
just because you don't feel like it. Parents don't even get to
take a day off from being a parent when they're sick. So, a
child's lack of initiative is not be a viable excuse. If said
chore is not done on the given day, unless otherwise pardoned,
that child could be gotten out of bed at mid-night, if need be,
to get it done.
Note: the daily chore should be lighter provided item #3 is also
implemented.
3.) Learning to work as a team is a necessary tool for life.
Upon age of ability to learn, every child would have a part in
the preparation of meals and or clean up of the kitchen; without
complaint.
Those who participate in the preparation of a given family meal
may or may not be excused from cleanup, depending upon fairness
and necessity.
Children may have the option of choosing their particular
kitchen chore(s), provided that works toward the benefit of the
whole; final decision is up to adult(s), which decision may or
may not alter daily and may also depend upon an individual
child's need to learn a new task.
No one is excused from kitchen detail, unless otherwise
pardoned, until the entire project is complete. Therefore, it is
to the benefit of the whole to help each other toward completing
needed tasks. And, it goes much more smoothly when everyone
makes up their mind to get along.
4.) If children have such excessive penned up energy but what
they can't seem to stop picking on each other or a general
running off of the mouth which seems to be controlling them,
these precious angels must have a serious physical problem they
need our help with.
Therefore, except a stronger response is deemed necessary, each
and every verbal and physical unkindness will be met with an
additional chore that is to commence being accomplished from the
moment so assigned. Of course, this law of consequences is only
offered as a means to help them work off some of that penned up
energy.
In such event, the first chore is to be minute. Then, if the
behavioral issue is not immediately resolved, kindly let them
know they can complete another chore when they get that one
done. This procedure is to be continued, slightly increasing the
degree of pressure, with each offense, until a task can be
completed (from start to finish) without sounding off or
otherwise having acted out.
The remarkable thing is that most children catch on really fast.
And, you thought it couldn't be done. :-)