Your Beautiful Baby--Understanding Early Childhood Development

Your car came with one. Your TV has one. Even your cell phone has one. . . but when you have a little bundle of joy entering your life, an instruction manual does not come with the delivery. Children are a special gift--full of love, adventure, hope and joy. Learning about the developmental stages of children and what can be expected in each stage is vitally important to all parents. Since each baby is a unique individual with a distinctive personality, your child's development may vary significantly from what is considered normal. But there are some guidelines and certain behaviors that are fairly typical of all children. The primary task of a baby's first year is to develop a sense of trust in the world and come to view it as a place that is predictable and reliable. Infants accomplish this by forming a close attachment to the care givers. During the very earliest months, infants have an inborn ability to "bond" to ensure their survival. They express it through sucking, feeding, smiling and cooing. Ideally, these behaviors stimulate a loving response from the parents (or caretakers) who give the baby the much needed and desired personal attention. These pleasant interactions and the consistent attention form the parent-child bond and lay the foundation for child's sense of trust. During this period, a consistently comforting and nurturing environment makes a child feel secure. The most valuable thing you can do at this point in your child's life, is to show, through attention and affection, that you love your child and that your child can depend on you to be there. If you generally respond to your child's cries, he/she will learn trust. If you hug, caress and smile at your child, he/she will feel contentment. Although the need for attachment continues for many years, the process of separation also begins during the first year of a child's life. A major milestone is reached when children learn to separate from the parents by crawling and then by walking. Psychological separation begins as well: babies start, non-verbally, to express their own desires and opinions. Many child development experts view early childhood as a series of alternating attachment and separation phases that help to establish the child as an independent person who can relate happily to others. Toddlers continue the attachment--separation cycle in more sophisticated ways during the second year. The "terrible twos" arrive with your child sometimes protesting violently when you must leave them. Anxiety about separating from you heightens, and they may express anger. During this stage, when you must both guide and protect your child,, you become a "no" sayer. Your child becomes frustrated and shows it in new ways. Helpless crying comes first, and later your child may exhibit aggressive behavior by hitting, pushing, biting or throwing things. Such behavior often frightens and puzzles parents, who wonder if the child is normal. It should help you to know that this type of behavior is normal for toddlers, who have deep conflicting wishes about their individuality ("me do it myself"), and their anxiety about separating from you. Handling the tantrums, setting limits, and encouraging language development and the expression of feelings consume much of your time and patience. They will grow out of these stages. Welcome to parenthood and best wishes on raising a healthy, happy, well-adjusted baby!