How Develop Your Child's Good Judgement

Good Judgement Children develop strong character by learning to think about and make sound judgments about what is right or wrong, good or bad. These are not always easy distinctions for adults to make, much less children. For example, it can be difficult for a child to recognize the difference between acting bravely and acting recklessly. As parents, we can help by showing, through what we do as well as what we say, that it is importantin such situations to think carefully and honestly about what should bedone, carefully weighing how others will be affected by what we do. Sometimes we get into trouble because we "just didn't think." We let our emotions lead us to actions that we regret later. Making good judgments requires skills in monitoring impulses, using reasoning to sort throughfeelings and facts, and thinking about the consequences of our actions. Your child's ability to think and make sound judgments will improve as she matures. With age, however, it also may become easier for her to try to justify and make excuses for selfish or reckless behavior. However, if you have helped her develop strong habits of honesty, courage, responsibilit and self-respect, your child will have the ability to see the flaws in erreasoning and be able to come to the right conclusion about what to do. What You Can Do Teach your child to stop and think before acting on impulse. Teach your child to tell fact from feeling. Let him know that justbecause he feels strongly about something--such as hitting someone who made him angry-- doesn't mean it'the right thing to do. Encourage your child to think about the consequences of her decisions. Tell her little stories about situations she might face and talk about actions she might take who might be affected by her actions,what might happen because of her actions and what the best action might be. When your child has a problem with a rule, brainstorm together a list of possible reasons for the rule. This leads to greater understanding. Remind your child to pay attention to the rules or codes that apply in each situation. For example, the rules for behaving in church aredifferent from those for a football game.