Preparing Your Child to Move
Children respond to the general atmosphere set in the home by
the attitudes of their parents. If you look at moving as an
exciting adventure full of new possibilities, then chances are
very good that you will infect your children with enthusiasm and
anticipation.
Many times we forget that making more money or moving to a
larger home is not a change that children will understand. The
younger the child, the less able they are to "see into the
future" as you do. They tend to focus on losing the security
they already know, along with missing friends and family. Your
job is to turn the sadness and doubt into happiness. Ask
yourself what advantages there are for the child in the move.
For example, will the family be closer to Grandma, the ocean, or
another favorite person, place, or activity?
One of the easiest ways to turn an unhappy frown into joy and
excitement is to communicate frequently. Let your children know,
step by step, what is happening and what is likely to happen
next. Tell them what the move means to the family -- how
important it is that Mommy got a big promotion or that Daddy is
opening a new office for his company, and how other aspects of
the move will be good for the child.
Be ready for those "What about me?" questions by researching
schools, churches, activities, and community amenities in
advance, and offer your child choices and ways to participate
where it is appropriate. Whenever possible, look up information
on the Internet, or have your agent e-mail, fax, or mail vital
information about the community so that you and your child can
plan where to go and who to meet in order to help ease the
transition into new activities and surroundings. Contact
organizations with whom your child is already associated or with
whom he or she has an interest, and ask for referrals to your
new city. Knowing they won't have to give up favorite hobbies or
sports goes a long way toward helping children adjust.
Making contacts with future friends, classmates, and fellow
hobbyists can also go a long way toward helping your child's
transition to a new home and environment. See if your agent,
other transferees, or family can put you in touch with other
children your child's age so that a chat room or e-mail
friendship can begin.
Your Realtor should be able to show you your home either through
e-mail, the local MLS service, or Realtor.com. Have your Realtor
take pictures of your home and send them to you. Have fun by
showing your child the new house plans, or draw them yourself
and let your child cut out furniture and toys to place in the
rooms. Show your child a typical day in the home as you go from
room to room. Draw a map, and show how close Mommy and Daddy
work, where schools are, where Aunt Bea lives, and other points
of interest to help them orient themselves in their new
surroundings.
If time and finances permit, take your child on a trip to visit
your new city and home to get acquainted. If that's not
possible, get on the Internet, and show him or her the city,
neighborhood, and home where you'll be living. Most cities have
Web sites available that offer a wide range of information, so
you can plan activities for after your move, such as visits to
the theater, a visit to the local zoo, or a trip to a local
restaurant that serves your child's favorite food.
Allowing your children to participate as much as possible makes
the time they spend anticipating the move pass more quickly.
Keep them occupied by letting them plan and pack a box or two of
their special things. Consider their input on new decor and the
layout of their new rooms. Encourage them to take the time to
exchange good-byes with friends and loved ones and get
addresses, e-mail addresses, and phone numbers to stay in touch.
While you are preparing for the move, try to stick as closely to
your normal routine as possible, and let your children know
that, although they will soon live in a new house, the rules of
the household will still be the same. Bedtime is still at 9
p.m., and homework must still completed before TV time is
allowed. And although Mom and Dad are a little busier and
distracted with the move, they love their children very much and
are giving the entire household a new opportunity to grow.
On moving day, have a bag packed of personal belongings for each
member of the family, being careful to include medications,
clothes, and personal items. Let your children choose what
amusements and favorite "loveys" they wish to take along, and
reassure them they will see their other favorite toys when they
arrive in their new home.
Your preparedness will go a long way in reassuring your children
that their needs are being considered.