Safe sex after 50
`I discovered later in life that I needed to make better choices
about taking care of my sexual health'. It was not long ago when
I realized that many people are sexually active far into their
eighties. I understood that when I was talking with a
79-year-old relative I'm very close to. I was telling her about
my activism around HIV/AIDS and sexual
health. Suddenly her animated, engaged expression froze into
a look of horror. "Oh, my God, can I get it?" she asked. Then
she revealed that she had been having unprotected sex with her
partner, and that she knew he had relations with other women
too. What's more she herself admitted she had another male
friend with whom she was occasionally intimate.
Having looked at my personal experience I knew that unprotected
sex regardless of age-could lead to a sexually transmitted
disease (STD). At the age of 50, I realized that my lover of
three years had given me one. I was astonished that this had
happened to me! I started consulting women my age and older, I
heard many stories of mature women who had been infected by
husbands or partners who had sexual contacts on the side. This
woke me up.
I came to conclusion then that the only person in the world
whose sexual behavior I could be certain about was me. When I
was younger, only unwanted pregnancy was the big fear. Later,
menopause freed me from that concern. But suddenly I was
discovering I needed to be more careful about my sexual life, so
I could make better choices about protecting myself.
The HIV statistics in Black communities all over the world is
sobering. The transmission of STDs, HIV and hepatitis B can be
reduced by the use of condoms. But in spite of extensive
public-health campaigns to promote safer-sex practices, many
people over 50 still do not see the need to use condoms.
This attitude has contributed to a startling statistic:
According to The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention,
between 1991 and 1996 HIV infections transmitted through
heterosexual sex rose by 94%n men over 50, and 96% in women over
50. Although the number of patients with AIDS among seniors is
relatively small-1,400 in 1996, up from 700 in 1991-experts are
convinced these figures probably underestimate the problem
because older people are less willing to be examined for HIV
than younger adults. The symptoms of the illness can even be
masked by other diseases or attributed to aging. As a
consequence, one of the fastest-growing HIV demographic groups
is heterosexuals age over 50.
What if you have never used condoms before? Whatever happened to
growing wiser as you grow older? It's a wonderful achievement
that nowadays people with HIV have access to the best drugs, can
feel better and live longer than before. But the real triumph
will come when all people have the information and the personal
self-respect to embrace the tools of prevention-the consistent,
correct use of condoms by sexually active people, no matter how
old we are.