Laughs in Strange Places

I couldn't make this story up if I tried. A couple of weeks ago I was plowing through the stacks of paperwork on my desk when I heard the unmistakable sound of a kamikaze bee flitting about my office with apparent disdain for the human race. Now, due to an unfortunate and rather intimate run in with a bee when I was about seven years old (I'll spare you the details but let's just say it had Karmic repercussions for both me and the bee), there's no love lost between me and our fine flighted friends. As such, just the sound of a bee in close quarters sends me into a rather tense state of being. Even worse, the sight of what can only be described as the mammoth of all bees convinced me that something needed to be done before my clients bore witness to how very irrational and entertaining I can become in situations like these. So I started to strategize. My office has no open windows through which to shoo unwanted visitors, bees or otherwise, so I decided there were only two options: To gently encourage my little friend to exit from whatever route he entered or, well, the alternative wasn't pleasant for either him or me. So I opted for the shooing alternative. He really seemed to like the light fixtures in my cathedral ceilings, though, and given my towering 5 foot 4 stature, I wasn't having much success luring him from the nosebleed section of my office. In fact, I'm quite certain I heard him buzz "nanny nanny boo boo, you can't catch me" at one point. So I decide to get a bit more creative. I have no ladder or stepstool, no broom to wave him down with, no magic vacuum wand to brandish in an air of superiority. I looked around for anything that might help and suddenly honed in on the five-foot tall Ficus tree sitting next to my desk. It's a fake one...let me re-phrase here...a lovely silk replica of real-life foilage...so I'm thinking "it's light, it's long, it's bee-swatting strong. Let me at him." I grab hold of the Ficus and start waving it around towards the highest light fixtures in the place. Now, I'm sure you're thinking to yourself "that bee couldn't have liked that very much." Indeed, you're right. He seemed to be ever so slightly agitated. Ok, maybe more like enraged with venomous anger and poised to kill. This incited no less than panic on my part, so I continued the Ficus-wielding in an attempt to encourage him to leave peacefully or at least with all major body parts intact. Now, I'm blessed to have a lovely office with an entire wall of picture windows that run from floor to ceiling and look out onto both a beautiful treed lot and onto a relatively busy street. That said, I think you probably know where this story is headed. As I'm doing my best impression of Don Quixote's windmill-jousting escapades, I glance out of one of those huge windows to see several people standing across the street just taking in the show. They were entranced by my Ficus-waving interpretive dance and were wondering, no doubt, when the neighborhood had begun going downhill. Now, I consider myself to be a fairly level-headed professional with a pretty decent reputation in this community. No more, my friends. All of those years of hard work flashed before my eyes as I made eye contact with each person in that group before gingerly lowering my Ficus to the ground, smiling ever so sheepishly, pointing up and mouthing the words "there's a really big bee up there," as if this bit of information would cause them to think "well, now I understand. You go right ahead." They gave one last look, shook their heads, and continued walking down the street laughing and offering a running commentary of the incident. After the shock of piercing embarrassment subsided a bit, I looked around and just started to laugh. And laugh. And laugh. I mean, how often do you get that kind of opportunity to stare both a bloodthirsty bee and the incongruities and silliness of life right in the face? I went about my day with a much improved attitude, full of vitality and humor, sharing the story with anyone who would listen. And I was actually able to get through a client appointment with that same kamikaze bee still cruising around the light fixture without having a full on anxiety attack. And now, every time I look at that Ficus I can't help but giggle. That's what laughter does for us. From moments of stress and discomfort to times of connection and possibility, laughter reframes situations enough to help us get a better perspective to move forward with life in a more productive and relaxed state. Laughter does so much for us. Science has proven that it releases endorphins, the body's natural painkillers, and it boosts our immune function. It decreases our stress levels, offers shared entertainment, and actually improves outcomes in work, school, community, and healthcare settings. Best of all, it's free, available 24 hours a day, requires no prescription, and has no negative side effects. As the old saying goes, laughter truly is the best medicine. The unfortunate thing is that, even given all of these benefits, people aren't laughing like they could be. There's an often quoted statistic that says children laugh on average 400 times per day and adults laugh on average 15 times per day. WOW that's a sad statistic. As I always tell my clients, just because we grow old doesn't mean we need to grow sullen...or somber...or jaded. If you consciously work to lift your laughter quotient a bit every day, within a couple of weeks you'll notice marked improvements in both your attitude and your energy. Not to mention your ability to deal with the little hassles of life like unwanted visitors taking up residence in your light sockets. So how do you add more laughter into your days? Here are a few tips to get you started: 1) Create your own "Laughing Stock" of stories, cartoons, jokes, memories, or anything else that brings a smile to your face and a chuckle to your day. Keep laugh-launchers readily available at work, home, in the car, or even in your mind. Simply remembering a funny story has just as powerful an effect on your physical and emotional health as experiencing it the first time. One of my favorite guaranteed giggles comes from remembering the story of the time my husband and I traveled to visit our daughter and son-in law in another city. They were newlyweds so, as with most young couples, our guest bed was an air mattress with a very slow leak in an extremely small room. In fact, we had to take turns going into the room because we couldn't both fit in there upright at the same time. Now, my husband is a rather big dude and in such close quarters he managed to smash his elbow on the "jutting out" portion of some piece of furniture and began writhing in pain at the other end of the mattress. Compassionate wife that I am, I immediately knelt on the air mattress to comfort him and offer an ice pack. Remember, though, that the air mattress has a slow leak. So, when I displaced the remaining air by kneeling on the mattress so quickly, it effectively catapulted him off the other end at full force directly into the wall behind him, resulting in a concussion or something closely resembling one. After a three-second check in to make sure that I hadn't broken his neck, we both shared an earth-shattering laughing fit. It took us longer to recover from the laughter than it did for him to recover from both the arm and head injuries. Note to readers: do not attempt this particular stunt at home. Because it hurt. A lot. Even so, whenever we recall this story, we can't help but laugh again and it immediately improves whatever situation we're in. Keep those stories, silly activities, movies, websites, and anecdotes handy. Use them well and as often as needed. 2) Have a "Don't Laugh" contest with someone. One sure-fire way to spark shared laughter is to actively try not to laugh. This technique is especially fun with kids, friends, and spouses. Sit in front of your opponent and take turns starting the game. The goal is to hold a straight face--preferably a very neutral, "nothing phases me, I'm apathetic and proud of it" look for as long as possible. Stare each other directly in the eye until someone breaks. Get the laughter only slightly under control and try again. Speed counts and makes the game far more ruthless. It's guaranteed to get you giggling nonstop for at least ten or twenty minutes. 3) When you're really stressed, fake yourself out. Basically, this means to force yourself to laugh. I know this sounds impossible, but research has proven that the simple act of genuinely smiling or forcing a really loud belly laugh can immediately reduce stress hormones in the system and relax both the body and the mind. Even if it doesn't feel genuine, it will before long. Just try it and you'll see. A full minute or two of authentic smiling or laughter will change everything about your outlook and your sense of well being. So look for those subtle and not so subtle ways to spark more laughter in your life. There are more funny bone ticklers out there than you might guess--you just need to look for them and use them. I certainly didn't anticipate that a five-foot Ficus or a husband-launching episode would be long-term stress reducers for me, but they are. What will be on your list? NOTE: You are welcome to use this article online in electronic newsletters and e-zines as long as it remains complete and unaltered (including the "about the author" info). If use of this article is desired in print, you must first contact Deanna Davis at Deanna@appliedinsight.net Copyright 2005 Deanna R. Davis, PhD