Acceptance!
I was first thinking , when exactly does one start to yearn for
acceptance?
Is it when we are born?
Is it when we first feel the pain of non-acceptance?
Is it when we begin to be challenged in sports?
Is it when we fall into the ever talked about `peer pressure`?
Is it when we fall in love?
Is it when we start a new job?
Is it when we become a new member of a family?
Is it when we move to a new city or country?
Is it when we write our very first book?
I believe it is all of the above, when people feel the need to
be accepted, they will do leaps and bounds to succeed in this
quest. Athletes and body builders will take drugs to win.
Winning=acceptance.
When we fall in love , our entire being wants to feel accepted
by our mate. Authors will spend hours and hours to write the
exact words to please their readers and go to great lengths to
publish their creation. Becoming a new member of a family
whether it be through marriage or adoption will create a need to
be nurtured as one who genuinely belongs. Starting a new job is
a definite acceptance need, we need to fit in so we can relax
and apply ourselves 100% to our job. Moving to a new country or
city or even just a new neighbourhood, is very challenging for
us and to be accepted and fit in, is a very important step in
our settling in.
Lets not forget` Peer Pressure` , that's a tough one, children
just getting started in high school suffer the most with this
one, hormones are swinging and their emotions are so sensitive.
The fears that they have struggle with for the year before is
all up front and they have a whole lot of reality to deal with.
To fit in and be accepted by their peers is more than half the
battle. Being a baby has a world of need to be accepted and see
our parents smile when we please them.
The pain of non acceptance for the first time cuts like a
knife. It wounds us for life, creating a scar that we grow with
forever. All these worries , needs and desires are in all of us
that live and breathe. Some of us feel the hunger for acceptance
less than others. Some of us cannot live with out acceptance ,
we become obsessed in our thinking, trying anything we can to
fit in.
Do you read between the lines and see the words self esteem in
anything I have written here today? Yup and it is in every
sentence. The need for acceptance somehow effects our
self-esteem which in turns affects our emotional stability where
jealousy , worry and anxiety seed from.. If you know the feeling
of non-acceptance or low self-esteem, then you know how
controlled you are by the worry that follows them and how much
of your life is imprisoned by that other mind.
Low self-esteem and non-acceptance are exactly that, "another
mind" and one can actually feel them at war . It reminds me of
the good devil and bad devil scenario. Trust me here it is no
fun for the person that is imprisoned by it, not only do they
have to balance the two minds, but they also have the guilt that
they feel when they see what the result of the battle in their
heads is doing to the people around them. The constant questions
that one faces as in my blog FEELINGS!!!! are an added pain to
the already lonely tortured person.
So if anyone out there knows a person that suffers from
non-acceptance or low self-esteem, HUGG them and please try to
have more patience and understand that they are not having a
picnic and that if just saying , "stop it" or "just don`t think
about it" could stop it, they would in a heart beat. We all need
support and acceptance to get us through our lows. Kicking
someone when they are down, never ever helps them to get up.
I am doing what I can through my web site and my blog to help
educate people and help them understand what low self-esteem is
all about and how very intense and serious it is. If any of you
ever have any questions, please contact me or leave me a comment
and I will do my best to answer it.
Sweet people and all the beautiful women in this world....
LIVE LOVE & LAUGH