Relationships - 9 Never-Changing Rules
Copyright 2005 Peter Dobler
In a relationship, your ability to understand and respond to the
other person's needs and desires are fundamental. Understanding
the nature of relationships themselves may be as important to
your success in love as understanding the person with whom
you're having the relationship.
The key to a working relationship is twofold. First you need to
work on a relationship day in and day out. Second you need the
right information to pinpoint where the relationship needs work.
Without this information you're simply assuming and assumptions
are the enemy to any healthy relationship.
>From puppy love to winter romances, the following is true of all
relationships
1. Relationships Don't Just Happen
Relationships aren't accidents that come out of nowhere; you
create them and you have to make an effort to maintain them.
Remember that the time you invest in others will always pay off.
2. Relationships are Need-based.
Everyone has their own personal needs and desires; your job is
to figure out those needs since some may be unexpressed
verbally. Not an easy task, therefore you have to focus on your
partner. Ask how you can respond to a desire that she or he has.
3. Relationships Don't Hold a Grudge
Despite the use of terms like "perfect match," and "perfect
couple," the idea of a perfect relationship is perfectly
ridiculous. We all make mistakes dealing with other people, so
it's important to be overlooked and/or forgive imperfections in
others in order to build strong relationships.
4. Relationships That Endure Take Time
Relationships are formed with long-term goals in mind. This
means that deep relationships will evolve slowly because the
stakes -- a life partner -- are so great. In this instance,
"haste makes waste" and divorce...or at least an ugly break-up.
5. Relationships are As Unique as the Folks That Are In 'Em.
No two people are the same and so no two relationships are the
same. Your relationships will deepen and strengthen, if you can
accept the uniqueness of others as a precious gift.
6. Relationships Build You Up.
"My partner brings out the best in me," is the way most people
define the partner that they love. Relationships are built on
encouragement, so always try to make your partner feel good,
even if you're urging them beyond their comfort zone to a new
level of intimacy.
7. Relationships Are Essential.
It may be a dog eat dog world out there, but man is still a
"pack animal," looking for positive healthy relationships. Once
you understand that nothing is more important than people,
you'll communicate that supportive message in everything you do.
8. Relationships Are For Two.
There is no such thing as a one-person relationship. For a
relationship to thrive it requires cooperation from both
parties, otherwise it's unrequited love (at best) and stalking
(at worst). You can't have a relationship with someone who isn't
interested in having one with you.
9. Relationships are Greater Than the Sum of Their Parts.
In good relationships there is energy -- your energy and your
partners. This energy pushes each of you to strive to make the
relationship work as individuals, and it also drives you to a
shared excellence.
Armed with these rules you should be able to create and maintain
a healthy relationship. Some caution on this topic. Just because
you live and breathe these rules doesn't mean that your
relationship will be better or a broken relationship will be
fixed. Every situation is unique and requires different
approaches. Use these rules as a guide and as a guide only.
Unfortunately a small article can't do justice on the wide
spectrum of creating and maintaining a working relationship. You
will get the complete picture and step by step explanations in
Race Kale's new book "The Power of Charisma".