Why Should You Forgive?
When I teach private Yoga sessions, sometimes, I become aware
that a client has issues that cause anxiety, depression, and a
negative outlook on life. This often causes difficulty for the
student when trying to practice a stage-by-stage relaxation, and
especially during meditation sessions.
When I mention letting go of a situation and forgiving others,
very often I hear, "What's in it for me?" or "Why should I?" To
be quite frank, you should sincerely forgive for your own
health. The purpose is to let go of a heavy burden, that you
have placed upon yourself. This is a form of self-imprisonment,
where you become bitter and this problem has established control
over your life.
Releasing a grudge is like a prisoner having a sentence
overturned, but it is much easier for you, since you are your
own prison keeper. This is, in fact, an internal conflict and
you can take control at anytime you wish.
Yoga, meditation, and relaxation sessions, are therapeutic
practices, similar to a life preserver for the mind and body. On
the other hand, holding a grudge causes negative energy and a
multitude of physical and mental ailments. So, why not just let
go of this self-imposed burden? Forgiveness is a way of refusing
to carry extra problems around.
Some people like to carry around a "badge of courage" wherever
they go. The badge of courage becomes their self-image and the
whole world around them can see it "written all over their
faces." We all know somebody who walks around, day after day,
with a scowl on his or her face. This person may have forgotten
who hurt them in the first place. Each conflicting situation
compounds, upon the last, to create a life of misery and poor
health.
Now, I am not asking you to forgive or apologize, if you don't
mean it, but do you see any common ground, between yourself and
the other party? Do you think there might be room to negotiate
or, at least, talk? Do you see the other viewpoint? Would you be
willing to listen?
Starting any negotiations allows both parties to hear each other
out peacefully. This should be a common agreement before you
meet. This requires that you listen to grievances, "on the other
side of the fence," completely. You will have to listen with
empathy. This is a skill very few people have mastered.
Then you present your side of the issue, without malice. Very
often, a perceived "big problem" is diffused when both parties
realize a small misunderstanding created the two opposing
viewpoints. It takes courage to sincerely give an apology and it
takes courage to sincerely accept one. How you handle conflict
and forgiveness is a true measure of your character.