Passion vs. Detachment
As a student of success for many years, I've become familiar
with the idea that we need to generate a passion for our goals,
a burning desire to see them brought to fruition. Yet, as a
student of spirituality, I've spent a lot of time embracing the
idea that desire is the root of all suffering. With desire, says
the Buddha, comes clinging and aversion, the two seeds of
discontent which imprison our souls and keep us striving for yet
never achieving real happiness. Similarly, success trainers tell
us we must live in the future, drawing clear and vivid pictures
of the reality we want to create, while spiritual teachers tell
us we must live in the present moment, for that's all there is.
How do we resolve this dilemma and find a path that leads us to
happiness and contentment?
One way is to choose camps, that is to decide that you're an
advocate of one or the other philosophy and accept the inherent
dictates of that view.
If you've chosen Buddhism as your path, you'll guard against any
flowering of desire within you, witnessing each desire with
detachment, affirming its transience, and ultimately letting it
go. Your desires will not cause you to react by taking action
towards their attainment, since your path is one of extrication
from the whims and wills of the mind, and your happiness will be
derived from the conquering of desire inherent in your
renunciation of the object of that desire. You'll seek happiness
in the here and now.
If you're a student of success strategies, you'll actively seek
a clearer connection with the part of you that has desire.
You'll then draw vivid pictures of your future happiness,
including the objects of your desire in the pictures. You'll
develop a passionate, almost obsessive intention to accomplish
your aims, reasoning that it's the acquisition of your goals
that brings about happiness. You'll work diligently towards the
attainment of your objectives and won't allow yourself to be
content until you've achieved your aims.
I believe there's a third way to proceed. It's a synthesis of
the two extremes. Let me explain. In my view, cultivating inner
peace is a high priority, and experiencing happiness
unconditional upon the absence or presence of a particular
circumstance is essential to mental health. Therefore, I
practice detachment and observe my desires without feeling that
they demand attention or acquisition. I imagine myself to be a
kindergarten teacher, and my desires are the desires of the
little kids in the class. I watch them get excited and enjoy
their passion, but I'm not caught up in it myself. Still, I want
to have fun, so sometimes I'll decide to play with the kids.
I'll get just as passionate and excited as they are, and I'll
play the game completely, hoping to win. That means that, at
times, I'll take on a goal and get passionate about its
attainment. I'll commit to its completion, work diligently, and
dream of the day I've manifested it. I'll become a bit obsessive
and driven and look for all the ways that the universe becomes
involved in helping me achieve my goal.
Since I've been practicing detachment and present time
consciousness, however, I won't lose sight of how I'm feeling
right now. I'll check in with myself and notice whether or not
I'm getting out of balance. If I'm far out into the future and
becoming intent on a particular result as a condition of
happiness, I'll pull back and stop or slow the game. If I find
that I'm developing an addiction to certain conditions being
met, I'll meditate, pray, walk, or do anything but pursue the
goal. I'll remind myself that it's just a game, and that the
outcome has no more significance than that which I give it.
I practice spirituality because it reminds me that there are no
conditions necessary for my happiness, and that this moment is
perfect, exactly as it is. I set goals because it offers me the
chance to create. Creation is part of our birthright. Plus, in
setting goals, I have a structure within which I can live, love,
and play. I find that very comforting.