8 Keys to Lasting Love
My granddaughter, Merritt Miles, at five years old, was the
inspiration for, 8 Keys to Lasting Love. While reading her a
fairy tale I was very disturbed by what I was about to say to
her when I read; "And they lived happily ever after." So, I took
the liberty of changing the ending to, "They began the work of
creating a very good marriage." I didn't want Merritt thinking,
as so many of my clients had, that marriage was so simple, that
it just magically happened and couples lived happily every
after. As a marriage and family therapist for thirty years, I
have seen the pain people experience after the honeymoon is
over, when they awaken realizing they have married a mere
mortal. I hope my granddaughter, as she enters adulthood, will
avoid the pitfalls and pain of those who succumb to this
"happily ever after" myth.
1. Stop blaming. Start living. It is our responsibility, and not
our partner's, to feel better and to heal. Our partner will be
responsible to us, but not for us. So it's useful, instead of
blaming our partner, to ask ourselves these two questions, "Why
did I draw this person into my life?