Tired of suffering? Joy is a choice
If you had the choice between joy and suffering in your life,
which would you choose? You would probably say joy. But think
about it. Would you really be willing to give up your drama for
the sake of joy? Or do you think that joy and suffering can
exist side by side?
They cannot. Suffering and joy exclude each other. Suffering is
fed by feelings of self-devaluation and failure. They confirm
one's notion of worthlessness and legitimate one's suffering.
It is important to distinguish between suffering and pain. Pain
signalizes an injury or an imbalance in our system. Suffering is
a fixation on the pain, an attitude of ignorance or an attempt
to find an identity.
For many people their life drama is the basis of their identity.
Their aim in life is to gain recognition for the suffering that
they have endured. This is a very human and legitimate need. The
problem is that recognising the suffering does not cure it. On
the contrary.
The knowledge that it gets you attention and compassion from
others gives the suffering additional value. It becomes a tool
for gaining affection. The suffering is thereby strengthened,
and it becomes even more difficult to free yourself from its
grip.
Suffering can be the result of the daily little disasters that
for many people is a way to feel alive. For some is it the only
familiar way how to participate in life.
Suffering can also be a quiet accuse that life is unjust and
hard. In such a case, you may feel like a victim of the
circumstances. As a victim, you give your power to the
circumstances.
We suffer when we lose a loved one. It is important at this
point to distinguish between the pain over the loss and
suffering. Pain is a natural reaction to loss. The pain passes,
if you allow yourself to mourn the loss. After such active
mourning you turn back to life.
Guilt feelings or rage against the injustice of the world feed
suffering. If you do not recognise and acknowledge these
feelings the suffering then can turn into a victim position.
A victim position differs from a victim situation by re-creating
a victim situation in the mind. All the thoughts and feelings
connected with it then influence the perspective on life.
A victim situation happens in life. Out of such a situation the
victim position emerges with all the associated feelings of
powerless rage and guilt feelings which then gets repeated in
life.
How can you move beyond suffering?
An important step to move beyond suffering is to understand your
motives. Is the suffering the consolidation of an old pain, a
victim position, part of the identity or the possibility to get
attention?
Another important step is to expand your consciousness.
Consciousness heals. Consciousness is a tool that allows you to
see through the illusions and confusions that make you prone for
suffering.
What would be important to understand to move beyond suffering?
* The four pillars of how to grow joy in your life * The
difference it makes when you say YES: YES to life, to the Self,
to the other person, to your community, to human values and to
the union with life and the challenges that you have to face in
making these choices * How the creation of your own story keeps
you in bondage and how you can change it * How self-forgiveness
can set you free * The difference between guilt feelings and
responsibility * The difference between a victim and a victim
attitude * The illusion of romantic love, how it makes you
unhappy and how you can move beyond it * The secret of true
sharing * The power of counting your blessings * The balance of
giving and receiving and how you can attain it * The spiral
nature of the process of life * How you can use love as a growth
process * How you can use your life patterns as signposts for a
fulfilled life
All this information and hand-on tools such as exercises and
instructions I provide in my ebook