Healthy Happy Relationships "7 Tips"
HEALTHY HAPPY RELATIONSHIPS
by Kathy Pedeaux
"Negative People = Trouble Maintaining Healthy Relationships" I
once knew a woman for several years who seemed to never be happy
in any situation, was negative about people, her circumstances
and lived for the next change or the next event happening in her
life. Let's call her "Lulu." I was trying to build a friendship
with Lulu because I enjoyed her company at different times, but
her increasingly negative attitude made me want to avoid being
around her. She would say, "If I wasn't single, then I would be
happy," then when she got married she was negative about her
husband. Lulu didn't like where she lived either, but guess
what? When she moved, happiness couldn't be found. If I just....
When I .....If only......If they would just....then I'll be
happy. Negative people are unhappy people and others do not want
to be around someone who brings them down on a consistant basis.
Many times unforgiveness and holding on to the past is a real
agent in people who suffer with being negative. If we hold on to
the past, then we remain stuck and never experience the joy of
growth and success. (Read next months article called, "Forgive,
Release, Restore.") I once was honest with a close relative when
I said, "I love you so much and I enjoy being with you, but
could you possibly bring some good news to the table today?" It
shocked them into reality and really helped us to get even
closer in the long run. Do we stop being patient with those who
struggle? No indeed! But if someone is having relationship
problems in keeping friends, with their marriages, at home with
the family, or in the workplace, then maybe being honest and
giving some helpful encouraging tips could help. As you are
reading this article, you may realize that this negative,
unhappy person is you! You may need those tips for yourself. We
will list some practical tips for you or someone you know at the
end of the article. But first we must realize that not being
negative is being positive. Choose to be an optimist not a
pessimist. Paul gives us good word on being content: Phil. 4:4
says, "Rejoice in the Lord always and again I say rejoice!"
Further instruction from Paul in I Thess. 5 says this, "Be
joyful always; pray continually, give thanks in all
circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."
If it is God's will, then it is possible and He is ready to give
you the strength to turn the corner! You may say that sounds
like great advice but you don't know my situation! Well let me
tell you a little about Paul's situation. Here is an excerpt
from Joel Osteen's book called, "Your Best Life Now." "The
apostle Paul wrote more than half of the New Testament while
incarcerated, often in tiny prison cells not much bigger than a
small bathroom. Some historians and Bible commentators believe
that the sewage system of that day ran right through one of the
dungeons in which he was imprisoned. Some commentaries state
that it's possible that he could have written some of the great
passages of what we now know as New Testament standing in raw
sewage that at times came all the way up to his waist. Yet Paul
wrote such amazing faith filled words such as, 'Thanks be to
God, who always causes us to triumph.'" Not many of us have
situations quite like Paul, but they seem just as devestating
and hopeless. Sometimes we find ourselves in what seems like
impossible situations, we have choices to make. It is important
to note that it is not the negative circumstances that come our
way that dictates our life, but the decisions we make in
response to those circumstances is what will determine our
successes or our failures. *Remember if you want friends, more
intimate relationships, you must first learn to be a positive,
happy person! 7 Practical TIPS that Lead to Optimism 1. Realize
that Right Feelings Follow Right Thoughts! 2. Learn that
Happiness is a decision! (You can be in control) 3. Do something
about what you can change! (What we do determines what direction
we take) 4. Trust God about what you cannot change! 5. Find a
way to believe the best, instead of assuming the worst! 6. Only
speak publicly about what is positive! (Seek private counsel
about what is negative) 7. Forget what is behind! (Forgive,
release and focus on the future) If you enjoyed this article and
are interested in more articles by this author and other free
resources please visit our website www.murphytoerner.com.
Counseling & Coaching Available: Call our offices @
225.753.7773!