Forgiveness comes from the heart chakra
When we are operate only from our lower three chakras we are
very egocentric. We are the center of our own universe. We are
the only player in our own drama and take everything personally.
We see things in terms of "what's in it for me". Life is black
and white. (Find out more about chakras and how to work with
them for personal development at
http://www.exaltedliving.com/sevensecrets.htm)
As we move into the heart chakra we find that we can take a
breather from our own self-importance. We start to recognize
that there are things happening around us of which we are no
part. If the person at the grocery store is in a bad mood we do
not spend the rest of the day in a huff or wondering what we did
to them. We can simply acknowledge that they are having a bad
day and get on with the rest of our day.
So what does all that have to do with forgiveness?
Everything! You see it is very rare that someone coldly and
calculatingly sets out to hurt us. Usually their actions come
from thoughtlessness and not a deliberate act to harm you. We
all have our faults and failings as well as our good points. It
is all part of being human and playing this game we call life.
If someone has hurt us or let us down it is probably because of
their own insecurities and lack of self worth. They are not
trying to hurt you but make themselves feel better about
themselves. For example, if a spouse has an affair it is usually
because they are desperately searching for something to bolster
their flagging egos. It is not to hurt their spouse. They are
trying to find something they fear is missing in their life.
(This is not to say that I am condoning affairs in anyway or
that you should stay or leave a partner who has cheated on you.
That is entirely up to you.)
When we come from the heart chakra we can take a step back and
not take things so personally. We can take a look at what has
happened and why. Then we can decide what we wish to do about a
situation without getting all caught up in the emotion of it.
No matter what, when someone has hurt us, deliberately or
otherwise, we need to forgive them, for our own piece of mind.
Hanging onto a grudge will only make us sad and bitter people.
It can run our immune systems down and can even make us
susceptible to diseases like breast cancer.
When we forgive someone it lifts a burden from us, we will feel
lighter and more joyful. If the person deliberately hurt us and
we hang onto the grudge they win again and again. Do you really
want that? This is your life we are talking about. Don't you owe
it to yourself to make it as happy and joyful as you can? Why
destroy your life by a thoughtless act of another person. You
are better than that. I know you are. And honestly the best
revenge is being happy.
Some people have the mistaken belief that they have to hang onto
the pain so they will not let themselves be hurt again. This
only makes for a life full of misery. Sure, they might not let
anyone hurt them again but they will also be cutting themselves
off from a lot of wonderful experiences. A better attitude to
take is to learn from their experience and forgive. Then trust
themselves that from a place of openness and wisdom that they
will know what to do if they are ever faced with a similar
experience.
If you want to forgive someone simply have the intention of
letting go of your hurt and forgiving them. Then sit quietly and
flood green into your heart chakra. This may take minutes,
hours, days or weeks. You might get rid of it and it may come
back again. If so, start again. The feelings of hurt will pass
and boy will you feel great. Just do it as often as you need to.
Spend five minutes twice a day flooding green in your heart
chakra until you can think of the person without pain. This does
not mean that you have to have an abusive person in your life.
You can forgive someone but not want any contact with them
because you know that you are better off without them. This is
valid and does not mean that you are holding a grudge.
You can forgive those that have passed away. However, if it is a
long-term grudge be prepared for a bit of an emotional time
while you do so.
You may feel guilty for not having forgiven them while they were
still alive, or grief at their passing that you have not allowed
yourself to feel before. This is an important part of the
process and just be willing to allow yourself to sit with the
pain. Keep working with the heart chakra and these feelings will
subside. The final step in the process is to forgive yourself
for not forgiving them when they were alive.