"Eight Steps to Taking Control of Every Situation in Your Life!"
Like it or not, we are all gladiators. We go to sleep and wake
up in a social arena from which there is no escape. Challenge
upon challenge confronts us, walls restrain us, and a mob of
spectators mocks, sneers, or cheers us. Each and every day
brings new battles whether we want them or not and whether we're
up to them or not. Life forces us to face one skirmish after
another - no choice in the matter.
What we can choose, though, is which kind of gladiator to be,
victor or victim.
Being a victim in this social arena translates into having bad
relationships.
Most people are victims - victims of their own perceptions.
That's because people don't develop and listen to their own
unique, authentic self. Rather they allow their mental
spectators - those little tyrants rattling around in their heads
- to tell them second by second how to fight their battles, what
they can and cannot do. These tyrants applaud and they hiss,
they encourage and they discourage.
These mental spectators are the memories of the judgments of
real-life people. For example, it's the memory of your aunt
saying, "I hope you marry someone rich, because you're not going
far on brains." It's the echo of your father growling, "You've
got a back problem - no spine."
And their influence over your relationships can't be
overestimated.
Millions of people accept the judgments of their mental
spectators as the truth and, therefore, the mediocre results
that come from believing those judgments.
With so many people living this way, the question becomes, is
this the way I have to live? Fortunately, the answer is not
unless you want to.
Once you identify your mental spectators - and your interactions
with them - you can move beyond victim and assume the role of
victor.
What it takes are eight steps for getting command, eight steps
you can apply to most any situation you want altered. You can
positively influence your relationships, your employment
options, any aspect of your life.
Let's look at the steps.
1. Define What Ails You. Ask, what's my problem? Am I a jealous
weasel, troubled that others have what I want? Am I ticked off
most of the time? Am I sad and whiney? Anxiety ridden? Moody?
All of the above? Without this step, you're doomed. It will take
personal courage, but you won't get results without identifying
what ails you.
2. Discover the Effects. Ask, how are my problems affecting my
life? Am I a lousy parent, a friendless dork, a backstabber, a
slut, a drunk, a junkie? Am I none of the above, but someone who
is less than I could be? This step requires absolute
self-honesty, but the truth will help set you free.
3. Seek the Source. Ask, from where are my problems coming? Who
are my real and my mental spectators? What do my mental
spectators look like, say, and do? Exactly who or what is
keeping me from taking command of my life? This could be one of
the most incredible experiences of your life. You will look into
the abyss and see who is looking back.
4. Identify Your Role. Ask, how am I contributing to my
problems? What is my responsibility in all this? Did I decide to
be a garbage disposal? Do I beat myself to death trying to
please others? Do I expect things of myself that are unfair? Do
I treat myself as a friend or an enemy? Do I allow my mental
spectators to drive me to distraction, depression, anger,
anxiety? Recognizing your role in your own problems is a
positive - but scary - step toward knowing yourself and gaining
personal command.
5. State Your Desires. Ask, what do I specifically want to do
about my problems? Do I want to be a doormat, a slut, a drunk, a
friendless geek? Or do I want to rule my mental spectators? Do I
want to stand up to a spectator, real or imagined, who puts me
down? Do I want to take command of my education, my bank
account, my relationships? Until you can actually list your
desires in the order of their importance, you will be a victim.
However, once you do this, you are on your way to being a
victor.
6. Seek Options. Ask, what are my options, and in what order
should I place them? What is the first option I should
concentrate on? The second one? The third? If you have a
soul-sucking hangover most mornings, you might opt to give up
your booze buddies for some real friends. Secondly, take the
money you normally spend at bars and deposit it in a college
fund for yourself or your kids. If, instead, you're a workaholic
and you want to spend more time with your kids, then DO IT. Very
few people on their deathbed have said, "If I could live life
all over again, I'd spend more of it at work and less with
people I love." Choices are involved here, but by weighing
options and alternatives, and then making personal choices, you
are taking command. Do this and you'll begin to gain real power.
7. Learn Winning Techniques. Ask, how do I rule my real and my
mental spectators? Must I collapse in a heap when they point
thumbs down? How can I learn to take charge on every level and
get a grip on my life? There is no "magic" involved, but you
might feel as if there is. Unlike a vanquished gladiator falling
at the whim of spectators, you decide your own course.
8. Master Your Relationships. Ask, what more can I do to master
my relationships by strengthening myself and my perceptions? How
do I take command right now in developing my own identification
and self-worth? Congratulations! You're working on the one
person in the entire world you can work on - YOU! And any
improvements in yourself can't help but enrich your
relationships with other people and the world around you.
Although this is only a brief overview of each of the eight
steps for jump-starting your relationships and taking control of
your life, you'd be amazed at how significant the effects of a
few minor adjustments in perception can be.