Use Your EQ When You're the Mother-in-Law
Kelly and I have a great relationship, I'm grateful to say, but
I'm still the mother-in-law. If you are one, or have one, you'll
probably agree it's a relationship that requires finesse.
"Finesse" is another word for "emotional intelligence."
All those mother-in-law jokes are out there for a reason. I'd
say it's hardest to be the mother of the son, but you might
disagree! Anyway, Kelly is married to my only son, and the
mother of my only grandchildren. There are times when I feel
very vulnerable in that situation, having to ask permission and
all.
My granddaughter's now old enough to come for visits. When I
call to invite her, it's been hard to come up with just the
right way to do it. After all, Meg is "hers" and not "mine."
Recently I read an article about something called "anodyne
therapy." You know how when they're getting ready to stick a
needle in your thumb they say, "This is going to sting a little
bit"? Well, in anodyne therapy, they say, "Notice how quickly
your thumb becomes numb."
"Anodyne" means "serving to assuage pain, or not likely to
offend or arouse tensions."
When I received an email from my daughter-in-law talking about
all the "projects" she had going on, I figured out a better way
to ask her. Kelly's always got something going on - painting,
wallpapering, gardening - and of course they're harder to do
with the little ones underfoot. Lately I call and say, "Want to
have some time to do that wallpapering? How about if I take Meg
for a couple of days?"
This takes the focus off what's being given up, and places it on
something Kelly really wants - more time to do her projects.
Anodyne - not likely to offend or arouse tensions. That's EQ!
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TITLE: Use Your EQ When You're the Mother-in-Law" AUTHOR: Susan
Dunn, The EQ Coach WORD COUNT: 300 WORD WRAP: 65 URL:
http://www.susandunn.cc Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc
"Use Your EQ When You're the Mother-in-Law," by Susan Dunn, The
EQ Coach
Kelly and I have a great relationship, I'm grateful to say, but
I'm still the mother-in-law. If you are one, or have one, you'll
probably agree it's a relationship that requires finesse.
"Finesse" is another word for "emotional intelligence."
All those mother-in-law jokes are out there for a reason. I'd
say it's hardest to be the mother of the son, but you might
disagree! Anyway, Kelly is married to my only son, and the
mother of my only grandchildren. There are times when I feel
very vulnerable in that situation, having to ask permission and
all.
My granddaughter's now old enough to come for visits. When I
call to invite her, it's been hard to come up with just the
right way to do it. After all, Meg is "hers" and not "mine."
Recently I read an article about something called "anodyne
therapy." You know how when they're getting ready to stick a
needle in your thumb they say, "This is going to sting a little
bit"? Well, in anodyne therapy, they say, "Notice how quickly
your thumb becomes numb."
"Anodyne" means "serving to assuage pain, or not likely to
offend or arouse tensions."
When I received an email from my daughter-in-law talking about
all the "projects" she had going on, I figured out a better way
to ask her. Kelly's always got something going on - painting,
wallpapering, gardening - and of course they're harder to do
with the little ones underfoot. Lately I call and say, "Want to
have some time to do that wallpapering? How about if I take Meg
for a couple of days?"
This takes the focus off what's being given up, and places it on
something Kelly really wants - more time to do her projects.
Anodyne - not likely to offend or arouse tensions. That's EQ!