Sober From Clutter-Part 4
Sober From Clutter-Part 4 By: Janet L. Hall
" Listening to your heart is not simple. Finding out who you are
is not simple. It takes a lot of hard work and courage to get to
know who you are and what you want." --Sue Bender, quoted in The
Feminine Face of God
Pain or sadness can stem from many factors and sources in your
life, and manifest in just as many ways, one of which could be
your clutter problem.
Do you take a dose of pain or sadness "medicine" by not letting
go of unused stuff or going out and becoming financial stressed
by making purchases you won't use?
What is your coping mechanism for your pain or sadness? Your
stuff? What you hoard? Why you're a pack rat? Why you might
overcompensate, overindulgence, shop 'til you drop, be a QVC
Junkie, an E-Commerce shopper, or an Auction addict?
Your pain or sadness might stem from you or your family having
to endure great losses. Losses in your life can surely make you
hold tight to the stuff your familiar with, especially if the
loss was a loved one. To leave everything just as it was, or to
hold on to departed loved ones stuff will leave no room for you
to grow or to go forward with your life.
One simple way to keep your loved ones memories alive, while not
keeping all their stuff, is to create an altar that houses the
precious memories and select items. You can create an altar on
your dresser, a mantel, or a shelf.
What about loss from nature or manmade disasters: flood, fire,
earthquake, hurricane, war, and refugee? These types of losses
in your past probably help you appreciate the things you do have
and obtain. BUT it can also lead to overcompensation, holding on
to, pack ratting, just in case, or a someday mentally. Be very
careful when recovering from a disaster, focusing on keeping
balance, and finding uses for all that you possess.
Pain or Sadness Exercise: >>What pain or sadness are you
carrying around on your back? >>Is your pain or sadness stemming
from something that occurred a month, year, five or ten years
ago? Longer? >>When are you going to release this pain, this
sadness? >>When was the last time you felt fulfilled, really
happy, without sadness or pain? >>Can you see it? >>What did it
feel like? >>What is missing from your life that you don't feel
fulfilled and you are using "stuff" as a substitute or an escape
from your suffering? >>Is it possible that you mask your pain or
sadness with STUFF, to protect yourself? >>Haven't you hurt or
paid long enough? >>When are you going to stop hurting and get
some help?
All the piles, all the crammed rooms, stuffed closets,
overcrowded attic and basement, all your "stuff" might have been
yesterdays solutions to your pain or sadness but now have become
your problems today!
Eventually you will see that by buying or bringing more "stuff"
into your life or your children's life will only temporarily
solve your problems, or situations. A quick fix. And eventually,
you will have too much "stuff," too many piles. This
overspending and over buying can bring you several more
problems: debt and clutter, less space, and even add to your
pain or sadness. You haven't solved a thing. As a matter of
fact, you've made matters worse for yourself, and possibly for
others around you. One day you will have to deal with these new
problems and situations. Finding new solutions. Hopefully
healthy remedies.
When you begin clearing out your clutter you'll create a vacuum
and nature abhors a vacuum. But don't worry because something or
someone will soon rush in to take the place of where your
clutter use to reside. The form of replacement wouldn't
necessarily be more STUFF. It may surprise you that someone or
something (i.e. opportunities) might come into your heart, your
Spirit, or your life might be filled with relief or happiness.
Now you might have the ability to pursue and accomplish what
you'd really like to do or be, now that you've made room.
Are you open to the idea of being happy? If you are able to
connect with your pain or sadness, and get it out, you'll be
able to break the chains, the unwanted habits of clutter.
Are you hurting yourself, your Spirit, and the world by
continually bringing things into your life that you don't need
or use? Basil the Great, bishop of Caesarea, stated around A.D.
365: "When someone steals a man's clothes we call him a thief.
Should we not give the same name to one who could clothe the
naked and does not? The bread in your cupboard belongs to the
hungry man; the coat hanging unused in your closet belongs to
the man who needs it; the shoes rotting in your closet belong to
the man who has not shoes." Look around your home or office.
Take a mental inventory and see what you can donate to those in
need or to non- profit agencies in need.
It's okay if you're not ready to de-clutter. Just as the
alcoholic and drug addict, no one can make them change, or make
them stop their self-abuse. They have to have a deep desire to
stop, to take control of their lives, to overcome and eliminate
their negative behavior and take one day at a time making
positive changes in their life, so must you in dealing with your
clutter.
Get sober from clutter by taking it one day at a time or one
area at a time. If you fall back into your old patterns,
acknowledge the fall and get back on the wagon to being sober
from clutter. Slowly, one day at a time.
Dali Lamas' Tips to Making Changes: So, how will you accomplish
this? What will be your approach?
In the book, The Art of Happiness, in which Dr. Cutler
interviews the Dali Lama about the process of change, he
indicates that they are six steps you need to do in order to
bring about change: education, conviction, determination,
action, and effort. "...you must exert the effort to establish
new habit patterns. This is the way that inner change and
transformation take place in all things, no matter what you are
trying to accomplish."
The Dali Lama goes on to say, "...start by developing a strong
willingness or wish to do it [what goal or action you are
directing your efforts towards]. ...generate great enthusiasm.
And, here, a sense of urgency is a key factor. ...It [sense of
urgency] can give us tremendous energy. ...to generate
commitment and enthusiasm to overcome negative behaviors or
states of mind...is to be constantly aware of the destructive
effects of the negative behavior. ...by making a steady effort,
I think we can overcome any form of negative conditioning and
make positive changes in our lives."
I know you can be stronger then your fear, your pain, or your
sadness. You can be stronger then your habitual spending,
hoarding, or saving by being determined, by carving out the
time, and by putting some effort into reasonable expectations of
getting organized.
Just like the alcoholic or drug addict, you are healing. Healing
needs to take place in the mind, body, and Spirit to be
effective. A big step towards your healing will depend on you
having the knowledge of what you can do by yourself and the
acceptance of the reality that you might need help.
God, grant me the Serenity To accept the things I cannot
change... Courage to change the things I can, And Wisdom to know
the difference.
Living one day at a time, Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as the pathway to peace. Taking, as He did,
this sinful world as it is, Not as I would have it. Trusting
that He will make all things right I surrender to His will. That
I may be reasonably happy in this life, And supremely happy with
Him forever in the next. Amen. --Dr. Reinhold Niebuhr ~~~~~~~~~
For additional help: The Organizing and Feng Shui Wizard, Janet
L. Hall, FSII has a FREE newsletter, OverHall IT! at
http://www.overhall.com/newsletter.htm and many organizational
products for your office, home, and computer at
http://www.overhall.com/products.htm Janet is a Professional
Organizer, Certified Feng Shui Practitioner, Speaker, and Author
and can help you regain control of your life, your time, your
stuff, and your environment.
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