Dealing with Emotional Pain
Dealing with Emotional Pain
Robert Elias Najemy
(Hurt - Bitterness - Injustice - Abused ? Pain)
We feel emotional pain when we do not get what we want, need, or
expect. We might feel hurt, rejection, bitterness, abuse,
injustice or simply emotional pain.
In such cases, we have not received the behavior or outcomes we
expected or believed we deserved.
We feel this kind of feel pain in cases when * people * do not
behave to us in the ways that we had expected as well as in
situations where * life * does not give us what we feel we need
or deserve.
We believe, "I cannot feel happy unless I get that which I
believe I need."
We have associated our security, satisfaction, self-worth or
freedom with something that we are not getting from persons,
society, God, or life as a whole.
Some examples might be when: 1. Others lie to or deceive us. 2.
They do not support us when we need them. 3. They reject or
criticize us. 4. We fail at some task, which we feel that we
should have succeeded at. 5. We loose a loved one. 6. Our loved
one shows preference to another. 7. People important to us do
not show us the respect we expect. 8. Others do harm to us or
our loved ones. 9. We are accused of doing or saying something
we did not do. 10. When are falsely suspected of having ulterior
motives. 11. "Friends" gossip about us behind our backs. 12. We
are not given the raise of promotion we believe we deserve at
work. 13. Others do not keep their agreements with us. 14. We
are robbed. 15. We lose our fortune in some way.
You can add many more situations in which we feel hurt because
we have not received the respect, love, affection, loyalty,
truth, kindness and justice that we were expecting.
*** Positive Alternatives to Feeling Hurt ***
Positive alternatives to feeling hurt, bitterness and injustice
could be:
1. * We can have Faith * in divine wisdom and justice.
We are all in a process of evolution and nothing can happen to
us, which is not exactly what we need in order to learn our next
lesson. So rather than be overwhelmed by negative feelings, we
can seek to discover what we can learn through this experience.
Our lessons usually have to do with discovering the strength,
security and self-worth, which are within us. As souls in the
process of evolution, we are constantly being directed to
contact and bring to the surface our spiritual self.
This means realizing that we are whole within and can feel safe,
worthy and fulfilled regardless of what is happening around us.
Thus, every event which might cause us to feel pain is also a
great opportunity to contact our inner spiritual self and move
on and beyond this pain.
2. We are the sole creators of our reality.
We as souls create our reality through:
a. Our past choices, thoughts, words and actions. b. Our present
conscious and subconscious beliefs, feelings and needs. c. The
lessons we have chosen to learn at this stage of our
evolutionary process. d. How we subjectively interpret what is
happening.
Thus others are simply actors in the scenarios of our life the
script of which we have written. We can create a happier reality
by:
a. Transforming our conscious and subconscious beliefs. b.
Learning our life lessons. c. Interpreting events in a different
way ? as opportunities for growth rather than as injustices.
2. Forgiving and forgetting the past.
In light of what we have said above, others are not responsible
for our reality and thus can easily be forgive. Such forgiveness
frees us from negative feelings and allows us to transcend pain.
Thus we can overcome emotional pain by:
1. Realizing that every event is exactly what we need for our
evolutionary process. 2. Learn the lessons involved. 3. Forgive
others and ourselves.
(Adapted from the "The Psychology of Happiness" by Robert Najemy
available at
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/redirect-home/holisticharmo-20
and http://www.HolisticHarmony.com. This book and other writings
can be viewed at http://www.HolisticHarmony.com where you can
also download FREE articles and e-books.)