Memoirs of a Wedding Singer
It's been several years since I left the band I was with.
As I reflect upon my life --the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly,
(does that mean I'm getting old?), I look upon my experiences
with the band with fondness and know that those memories will
stay with me forever.
Music is in my blood. Every fiber of my being somehow has music
attached to it. I think it's a DNA thing. Both parents are
musicians and teachers, both grandmothers were entertainers, my
Nana a piano player back in the days of silent films and my
Grammy a Broadway dancer. Seems to me that I wasn't left with
much of a choice in the matter!
When I was 30, (okay, now I'm dating myself), I joined what's
referred to as a GB (General Business) band. Our primary
function was weddings. That's how it started. For the first year
we did weddings that were booked prior to my joining. Lucky for
us these folks didn't choose another band when they discovered
that the singer they thought would be there was in fact going to
be me. The singer they'd booked from the video tape had left and
I was taking her place.
The weddings were fun. I loved singing the bride and groom's
special songs and somehow added to their day. I liked being the
emcee. I enjoyed having to be upbeat and "on" even on those days
when I felt "off". It was good therapy! Oh, and let's not forget
the singing part. Yes, that's my heart and to me one of the best
forms of self expression going.
As I think back, I suppose I liked the attention, too. I didn't
want too much, but when someone came up to me on my break and
said how wonderful the music was, it felt good.
The band and I had excellent chemistry. Chemistry is there or it
isn't -- you can't force it just as with any relationship. I
think I laughed more on my gigs than at any other time. We'd
joke on stage or the keyboard player would make "funny" sounds
with his keys while I was in the middle of a song, TRYING to
make me laugh and sometimes succeeding. Imagine singing "Crazy"
while "burp" sounds are going off in the background! Boy, did I
have to bite my tongue a lot! Sometimes, it didn't work and I
actually lost it during a song. Oh, when that happened the
entire band was in stitches and all I could do was muster up the
self control needed to keep going, hoping that the folks dancing
didn't notice. Sometimes, they did, and they laughed at us
having such a good time! But, don't let that give you the wrong
impression. We were definitely professional. A little laughter
didn't take that away.
Whenever a wedding ended, I got a great feeling when the bride
and groom thanked us for doing a great job. What a feeling of
satisfaction that was! Even with aching feet, a tired body and a
worn voice, I was uplifted by their comments.
Now, you may be saying, "Hey, if this was so great, why did she
leave?"
I say, "Good question."
Life is change -- change is life. We finished out the wedding
bookings for the year and began doing club work more and more
and got a few wedding bookings from that. Things were a bit
unsteady when our guitar player left; so the leader of the band
held off on doing a promotional wedding video. Now, that's
important if you want more wedding gigs. When prospective brides
and grooms go into a function hall and want to see videos of
bands, they want to see who is with the band NOW, not 2 years
ago. Otherwise, they have to go to the club where the band is
playing to hear how they really sound. That can be a slight
inconvenience, especially if they lived a distance from where we
were playing.
Needless to say, without a promotional tape, our weddings
decreased and the clubs increased. It got to the point where we
were doing three or four weekends in a row; as opposed to the
two or three weddings per month. Also, the pay at a four hour
wedding is much better than working four hours, two nights in a
row, (eight hours total) at a club. Not that money was my
motive. It wasn't. But, it was nice to work a wedding and make
what I'd bust my "you know what" working a whole weekend at a
club!
So, after about a year and a half of the bookings increasing,
(the clubs loved us), I had to make a choice.
Everything in life, (and if you've read some of my other
material you'll know I mean this), requires balance. Working
most weekends was tiring and was putting a strain on my fiance
and I. He went to a lot of gigs with me because working in a
club environment is much different than doing a wedding. You
know, there's a bit more trouble to be found. Luckily, my
experience with the band was pretty much trouble free. Although
I must say that there were many folks at weddings who'd tip a
few too many and loved to jump up on stage, grab the microphone
and belt away! (Those times were funny, and there were some
people who were pretty damn good)!
Back to the choice. It was a tough one. If only...but we don't
live in an "if only" world. The bookings were not going to
lighten up -- as a matter of fact it was the opposite. We had
definitely become a club band -- no longer doing weddings as our
primary gigs. And, the music was getting a bit stale, although I
introduced a lot of new material to the band. I also play keys
so I could work out tunes at home.
I digress.
On New Years Eve, 1999-2000, I sang with the band for the last
time. It wasn't an easy decision, but one I had to make.
Although painful at the time, I must say that with pain comes
growth. I never would have started my e-book and landed a
contract if I were still with the band. I wouldn't be a
contributor on various writing sites if I were still with the
band. I had to put my creative energies somewhere and they
landed upon the cyber pages of the Internet. I am glad for that.
And music hasn't left me. It can't. It would be like cutting off
my right arm. I still play, still sing, still sit in
occasionally. I even reunited with the band at my sister's
wedding this past November and it was GREAT! Just like
yesterday. That same ol' chemistry was there, not to be broken
by time. We laughed just like we always did.
When my father plays his solo gig in a small restaurant/bar, we
go see him and I've been know to sit and play/sing a few at the
end of the night. It brings back wonderful feelings and I love
making people happy. When I hear, "Could you sing 'this or
that', it feels terrific. (However, it's quite embarrassing when
I don't know the tune....)
Who knows? Maybe someday I'll pick up a solo gig somewhere...