Forget Flowers - Give Her What She Really Wants
Forget Flowers: Give her what she really wants -by Sarah Anne
Polsinelli (Forward and Conclusion by Luigi Di Serio)
Why are guys always asking: "What do women want?" Isn't it
obvious? Whether married or single this applies to every man:
What women say they want is not really what they want, because
what they want is for a man to give them what they want without
having to tell them. I know it is a long sentence with a lot of
"wants" but if you think about it for a moment it should make
sense. In other words, asking them what they want is pointless.
Think about it, young single women often say they want a nice
guy who buys them flowers and treats them like a lady, yet they
are dating some jerk, who treats them like the dirt under a
farmer's fingernails. The bad news is, that women are usually
more initially attracted to jerks, but the good news is they
ultimately want a good man (not just a nice guy). This entails
being stern, strong, sometimes nice, often surprising, stable
and acting like a manly man who has his shit together, and not
being an asshole nor a wimpy pushover. Being a real man is
easier than trying conform to the modern social expectations of
gender roles and succumbing to the powers of unisexification.
Enough of this rambling, let's explore some practical things
that a guy can do to win over the girl of his dreams or to make
his woman a happy one. The following article, Forget flowers, is
written by a woman and it will give us foolish males a sneak
peak into the little hearts of women and what they really want.
I know I said asking them is pointless, but I asked her to write
it using a logical, systematic and common sense approach, since
that is the language of men (women speak in feeling and desire
codes that a deciphering machine couldn't figure).
Forget Flowers: Give Her What She Really Wants By Sarah
Anne Polsinelli
Believe me when I say that there are a lot of things a girl
would rather receive from a guy than a dozen roses. While
flowers themselves may be colourful and fragrant it isn't the
flowers themselves that make her smile, but the gesture. It's
proof that he thought about her that day. It's an excuse to brag
about him to her friends. It isn't the bouquet that matters;
it's the time it took him to choose, buy and deliver them (or,
the time it took him to call FTD).
Knowing this, an intelligent man ought to substitute the typical
wildflower arrangement with a far more creative (and
significantly less expensive) act of affection.
I know what you're thinking: "Easier said than done." But that's
what makes flower giving so stale, that it's easy, and
foolproof. Showing up at her door with a bunch of daisies can't
hurt, but a badly written poem can.
So I'll help you out. I'll tell you want to do - and more
importantly, what not to do - to keep her happy (because if
she's happy, you're happy!).
1. Don't attempt poetry unless you're great at it. How do you
know if you're great at it? Well, if you have to ask yourself
this question, then you're not. Most amateur poets are great at
rhyming, and are capable of coming up with a clever little
sonnet (12 lines) in just a few minutes. If you find yourself
staring at a blank sheet of paper for too long, put the pen
away.
2. Show up at her door unexpectedly, and tell her that you can't
stay long. And mean it. She'll be genuinely surprised when she
opens the door and sees your adorable face and she'll be
flattered that you took time out of your busy schedule to visit
her. If she's not home, even better! Tape a simple note to her
front door and she'll cherish it for years to come.
3. On that note... Write her a note! Anything, absolutely
anything goes. Whether it's a request ("Sushi tonight?") that
you tape to her computer screen or a comment ("You're hot")
she'll be blown away by the sheer cuteness of it all.
4. When she looks particularly striking (whether she's on the
beach or in her pajamas), tell her so. Don't be afraid to pay
her a genuine compliment. Nothing sounds better to a girl than
"You look beautiful tonight." Well, other than "You're the most
beautiful girl in the room." Restrict the use of this word to
special occasions only, because it will otherwise lose its
luster very quickly.
5. Take her to the zoo. Take her to see a kid's movie. Take her
to Toys 'R' Us and tell her that she can have anything she wants
under $20. (All of these options are cheaper than flowers and
way more memorable.) Anything that's associated with children is
light-hearted and fun. And anything that's light-hearted and fun
will turn a mediocre date into a marvelous one.
It isn't hard to make a woman happy, contrary to popular belief.
Even the so-called high-maintenance ones are relatively easy to
please. All it takes is time. That's what she really wants from
you - your time. If she doesn't like the birthday gift you gave
her, it's probably because you didn't invest enough time in
figuring out what she wanted (all it takes is a few phone calls
to her best friends!). What's her most common complaint? "We
don't spend enough time together." Of course she pretends to
understand that you have a life outside of her, but deep down
she really doesn't understand. And she never will.
So take my advice and make your moments memorable. Good
relationships require work, and you'll need to stimulate each
other in new ways (in and out of the bedroom) in order to keep
it exciting and fun. It's simple: If you stop trying to please
her, she will stop being pleased. Forget the flowers - they'll
die in a few days, anyway - and invest your time and money into
something that has staying power, like a pair of coffees and a
summertime sunset.
This is written from the perspective of someone in a
relationship, but it also applies to those in the courtship
period. Being a nice guy is not the answer to winning over the
girl of your dreams, making your woman happy or getting some.
Forget flowers or expensive diners, this will only lead to you
being broken financially and hearted. Sure women like material
things, but they only like those things when they lack a real
man in their lives. Stick with being decisive and taking her to
your domain, a realm where you are comfortable and where you
have talents. Bring her into your reality; don't try to step
into hers (you'll look like a fish out of water). If she doesn't
like it.. too bad! She'll either learn to like it or you'll
simply move on. Ultimately a woman wants to know you are
thinking about them, that you want them in your world, but you
certainly don't need them and you certainly will have fun with
or without them. Neediness is one of the most repulsive
characteristics a man could ever have. Now be off, go play a
sport or build something and be a man. Since I am an award
winning poet, I'll go write some love poems.