Anal SEX for dummies - Tips
Anal Sex
Anal sex is not something that is experienced exclusively by gay
men; it is a facet of our collective sexual identity which has
been explored by previous cultures and continues to be explored
today. Men and women of all walks of life enjoy anal sex as an
alternative to everyday lovemaking. Its not for everyone, but
anal sex may be what you´re looking for if you want to try
something completely different.
Why do people enjoy anal sex?
Anal sex is enjoyable because of the rich body of nerve endings
in the anus. While people often experience pain when first
attempting anal sex, as a person learns to relax, the pain often
subsides into pleasure. For men, anal sex also offers
stimulation to the prostate, an organ that provides the rush of
pleasure during orgasm. Anal sex for many seems like a taboo
activity, and much of society still shuns it. But statistics
show that roughly 35% of heterosexuals and 50% of the gay
community practice anal sex at least occasionally.
How can I make anal sex safer?
Anal sex can be a perfectly safe activity as long as you take
the necessary precautions. You should remember that your anus
and rectum do not have their own natural lubrication nor the
kind of elasticity the mouth and vagina enjoy. That is why anal
sex must be practiced with care. There are three things that
should always be used whenever anal penetration is taking place;
lubrication, condoms and common sense. Liberal amounts of
lubrication are necessary because the rectal wall can be quite
sticky and is subject to tearing and lesions if not kept
lubricated. In addition, the anus and rectum are narrow, so
lubrication is needed to press inside smoothly. Condoms are
another necessity. Enemas, douches and other cleaners will not
be able to get all the germs and bacteria out of the rectum. Not
only is anal sex facilitate the transmission of STDs better than
any other form of sex, it can also cause urinary tract
infections and other bacterial diseases. Latex protection is
essential, and can offer additional slickness. Finally, use your
common sense. The rectal wall curves and is thin so long, hard
objects can tear your insides. Don't wear any jewelry on your
hands, and cut your fingernails if you are going to put your
finger in someone's anus. Most importantly, respect your body.
Don't push the limits and go only as far as you feel
comfortable.
How can I enjoy anal sex?Tips for beginners
To prepare yourself for anal sex, the first thing to do is learn
to relax. This may include a hot bath beforehand, an erotic
massage or even just a good workout. Remember that the sphincter
muscles around the anus will not allow things to pass through
easily unless you relax and take it slow. Do not start with
something the size of a dildo or penis. Your sphincter may be
reluctant enough to start with your partner's finger. One
partner should lubricate or place a lubricated condom over his
or her finger. Take the finger and arouse the surface of the
anus, perhaps making small circular motions as you go. Always
pay attention to your partner to indicate whether or not he or
she feels comfortable. Slowly attempt to push your finger
slightly inside the anus. Do not force your hand - stop if your
partner complains of discomfort. If it is difficult to enter the
anus, you probably need more lubrication. The first time you try
this, the receiver may feel a bit of pain. Anal sex is not for
everyone, and if you feel uncomfortable stop and perhaps try
again later. Think of this process as training for later anal
encounters. Even a finger can provide intense stimulation when
it is inserted in the anus.
Once you have tried penetration with a finger a number of times
then you can move towards something that is a bit larger. First
you have to decide on what type of anal stimulation that you
enjoy. Do you enjoy the movement of a finger, and the feeling of
entry and withdrawal? If this is the case then you may wish to
proceed by being penetrated with your partner's penis or by
using an anal toy. For those who enjoy the feeling of
penetration more than motion or vibration, try butt plugs which
are designed specifically for this purpose. A butt plug sits
inside the anus, and is not generally used for thrusting back
and forth.
Positions to try
The best positions for anal sex depend largely on what stage you
and your partner are at in your experiences. Rear entry or the
"doggie style" position is the one position most people
associate with anal sex. However, rear entry allows a penis or
anal toy to penetrate most deeply, and may not be the best
choice for the beginner. A good starting position is the
"spoons" position, with each partner laying on his or her side,
one behind the other. This prevents the penetrating partner from
going too fast, and allows complete control over penetration. It
also brings you closer to your partner, making it easier to
judge his or her reactions to what you´re doing.
Another position for anal sex is a variation of the missionary
position. The receiving partner lays on his or her back while
the penetrating partner approaches from on top. The penetrating
partner lifts up the calves or shins of the receiver, exposing
the anus. This can be an especially intimate position, with both
partners facing each other. The ‘top´ partner can
masturbate the other and is open to massage and cuddling as
well.
Finally, rear entry offers another possibility for anal
penetration. This position allows the penetration to be the
deepest, and permits the receiver to better open the anus for
entry. Rear entry doesn´t offer the kind of intimacy or
ease of communication that the other positions do, but for more
advanced lovers, can offer the greatest amount of thrusting and
penetration.
The author is a specialist in the field of sex for
the past 8 years.
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