The Perfect Reason For More Sex
The Perfect Argument For More Sex.
Satisfaction with your relationship leads to you making more
opportunities for sex. More frequent sex leads to happier
couples and happier couples have sex more than unhappy couples.
Isn't that fantastic!
One reason why some people have poor sex lives is the fact they
have too high standards. One of my clients had a demand that sex
be 'perfect' every time and perfectionism is a dangerous
disease. As a 'perfectionist in recovery', I like to keep this
quote in mind:
"Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the
people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life, and
it is the main obstacle between you and a shitty first draft. I
think perfectionism is based on the obsessive belief that if you
run carefully enough, hitting each stepping-stone just right,
you won't have to die. The truth is that you will die anyway and
that a lot of people who aren't' even looking at their feet are
going to do a whole lot better than you, and have a lot more fun
while they're doing it." It comes from a book called "Bird by
Bird" by Anne Lamott.
This client wouldn't have sex if he were feeling tired, unhappy,
withdrawn, or slightly less than besotted with his partner. This
is unfortunate given that sexual arousal produces large doses of
fantastic feeling hormones. Oxytocin in particular leaves us
feeling much cuddlier and this is always good for the
relationship. The experts generally agree that couples that
bless themselves with a range of sexual expression have fewer
conflicts and better relationships.
I've observed that the gap between people's expectations and
their reality can cause a surprising amount of trouble. It's
been said that disappointment requires adequate planning. The
fabulous Adrienne Burgess makes an interesting point in her book
"Will you still love me tomorrow?" She tells us there is
statistical evidence that if either party in a relationship has
experienced better sex in another long-term relationship, it
creates problems.
So if we're looking to have great sex, it's important to start
out by having regular sex. As my yoga guru says, "Do your
practice and all is coming".
Sex Not What It Used To Be?
OK, so maybe that is hard to admit to! When you've been in a
relationship for a while, you may begin to notice that sex
starts to change. You struggle to find the time, the energy and
somehow the peaks of excitement just don't always seem to stack
up like they used to. Does some of this sound familiar?
Don't worry, you're not alone! The good news is that this is
exactly the kind of work that I love to do. I love it so much
that I made a professionally produced and edited CD of my Great
Sex seminar which lays out the quickest route to the results you
want. That seminar is generally full of women and it occurred to
me that I'm going to need a different format for men. They might
not have time for a seminar but they've got all the time in the
world to listen to a CD promising Great Sex.
So now you can find out how to rekindle those early relationship
feelings of passion. Listen to the introduction: free online at
http://www.therelationshipgym.com/products.htm. Give it a
listen, it's guaranteed to make you smile.