How To Be A Nice Guy And Still Get Laid
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"How To Be A Nice Guy And Still Get Laid"
-- by Mike Pilinski --
(c) 2003 Kipling Kat Publishing Co. -- All Rights Reserved
http://www.highstatusmale.com
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I suppose I could have titled this article "Why Do Women Show
Absolutely No Romantic Interest In A Nice Guy (Like Me) Even
Though They All Claim To Want To Meet A Nice Guy (Like Me)?"
Whew! Well, maybe not. It sure is tempting though -- because in
my unexpected career as the internet's new "Dear Mr. Abby", I've
gotten some basic form of that question many times over in the
past few months, and I'm getting sick of it. So in the interest
of suppressing my e-mail a little bit, let me show you my theory
of why it is that nice guys are scorned by women everywhere, and
how to get around this social handicap without having to take
night courses in "How to be a Jerk" at your local community
college (although I hear they ARE a great place to meet sexy
young women... ;-)
I'm sure you know the infuriating mantra that you've heard time
and again from women --either in person or on all these stupid
afternoon talk shows: "...But Oprah, there's no one to date out
there, all the guys are all such jerks and losers. I just want
to meet a nice guy..." Oh how they love to whine.
Well if you consider yourself to be the "nice guy" these women
swear they're looking for, but you strike-out with all but the
very lowest end of the female food chain anyway, then you know
what royal bull**** this declaration really is. Nonetheless --
despite the fact that most of the feral women (18-35) actually
date & screw the drunken lowlifes and pricks they claim to hate
-- they seem determined to drill it into our heads that this
happens ONLY because the right "nice guy" hasn't come-a-stumbln'
into their life yet. Rrrrr-ight.
Ok, here's what's REALLY going on. As usual, women are talking
in code. (They are famous for this).
When women imagine "nice guys" in their minds, what they're
really dreaming about is a guy who makes them feel SAFE... but
in a very *special* sort of way that preserves his male sexual
attractiveness. Actually, this is not very mysterious when you
think about it from the *female* perspective. To a woman, a safe
guy means ONLY that you're physically harmless -- nothing more.
In terms of what you could do to her emotions, well... that's a
different story.
This blend of hot n' cold, exciting n' boring, safe n' dangerous
is what she is REALLY searching for -- this is what she *lives*
for. It's what she thinks of as having 'chemistry' with a guy.
The problem with being overtly nice or lap-doggishly friendly
and accommodating with women is that it communicates the worse
kind of SUBLIMINAL message to them. (P.S. Everything IMPORTANT
that goes on between men and women in the early stages of all
romantic-sexual encounters is always communicated NON-verbally.
Words may be the power tools of seduction -- but it's what you
DON'T actually say with words that will make or break you!).
Anyway, this lousy subliminal messaging is the key to why nice
guys rarely get laid. Here's why:
'Nice-guy' behavior is NOT something that women see you as
"switching on" in their presence like some well-meaning but
fumbled attempt to impress them. Instead, they believe that
you've been TRAINED (yes, like a f***ing dog) by other, *more
powerful* men in your world to act this way!
In other words, 'nice guy' is how subservient men have learned
to act in the presence of stronger men in order to protect
themselves from harm ("I am no threat to your status as the more
dominant male... please don't hurt me... let me be your
harmless, lovable side-kick..."). To women, then, "niceness" is
a screaming red flashing signal of LOW MALE STATUS, and
therefore...
...it is an ENORMOUS TURN OFF to them!
This is why they can't develop any sexual energy (i.e.,
chemistry) with nice guys, and with good reason. Nature has
hardwired the female brain to seek out the most powerful male to
mate with in order to produce the strongest offspring with the
best chance to survive. It's the same reason why men have been
hardwired to chase after women who display physical signs of
youthfulness (because youthfulness = reproductive success, or
viewed the other way around... old ladies = reproductive
failure... i.e., no eggs left in the carton, to put it bluntly).
While male and female ACTIONS may be completely different, their
GOALS remain the same -- strong healthy babies to carry forth
the species. This is so because "maleness" and "femaleness" are
really just two different but complimentary STRATEGIES for
reproduction -- and men and women are compelled to behave
differently in order to executed these dissimilar strategies on
one another.
You see, Nature doesn't care about hurting people's feelings --
it cares ONLY about reproductive success in order to keep those
precious DNA molecules traveling forward in Time. The dance of
mating & seduction -- in all creatures -- is linked inseparably
to this biological imperative. Go against it and you're flying
in the face of millions of years of evolution (or maybe its
design, who knows?). Learn to play by it's rules... and you will
win!
* * *
Anyway, being the correct sort of nice guy to women really only
means being someone who is A) safe, and B) a guy that she would
NOT be embarrassed to show off to her family or close
(judgmental) friends. Understand that there's a lot of latitude
in there between a kiss-ass wimp and a complete psycho. Your job
is to find that happy middle.
* * *
Alright, some practical application of theory. It's difficult to
describe exactly how to go about handling the issue of being a
nice guy, but here's my best try...
You never want to ACT like a nice guy around women, but...
...you always want to SEEM like one.
Can you get a sense of what I'm trying to say here? The problem
with being nice is TRYING to be nice, instead of just LETTING it
happen. You can't come across as an *obvious* a nice guy -- you
just have to drop enough hints around women so that you SEEM
like one. Never, *EVER* broadcast your nice guy potential to
women like it's something that you're proud of! Yeeesh!
Here's a few examples of what I mean:
1) When you first meet a woman that you're attracted to, you
must establish a NON-verbal line of communication in a way that
provokes stirrings of instinctual mating thoughts in her
subconscious "deep" brain. In other words, you need to transmit
your interest in her in a man-woman sexual-potential way
*without* actually speaking any words to that effect! Nice
trick, eh? Actually it's easy... two ways in which you can do
this are with extended eye contact and brief, non-offensive
touches. Both casual, but unmistakable in their true meaning to
her.
2) Drop HINTS about you're capacity to be a nice guy, but don't
demonstrate it -- otherwise you will come off like a complete
kiss-ass. Do this by A) slipping in suggestions of having strong
family-friends relationships in your life (a sign to women that
you're "connected & normal"), or B) that you have something
exciting going on in your life -- either at work, as a hobby, or
perhaps a recent adventure of some kind.
Here's an example from my own experiences. I used to work for a
photography company. Sounds exciting, eh? Not really. The amount
of time I spent with a camera in my hand was less than 5% of the
total time I was there. I mostly did boring lab work and
mechanical "McGuiver" tricks to keep a lot of old, over-used
equipment up and running. But maybe a half dozen to 20 times a
year, I got to fly around in light planes shooting aerial
pictures around the Western New York area for various commercial
clients.
So when I'm chatting up a girl, sometimes I'll work in a quick
little anecdote that's drawn from one of my old flying jobs.
Like how the snowpack collecting on Lake Erie forms such
beautifully colored cracks in the greenish ice sheets during the
height of mid-winter. But I make nothing more of it, all very
nonchalant... and I DON'T fully explain how I came into the
position of flying around the area and making such an
observation in the first place. Is it through work? A hobby?...
What am I involved in that would give me an opportunity to view
this natural wonder? Business travel? What?
She's at least a little bit curious about me now, but she's not
comfortable asking questions since I've just rolled over the
subject quickly and she doesn't really know me well enough yet.
Besides, (and this is important to understand) she LIKES not
knowing! Mystery! Intrigue! I've suggested to her in an off-hand
way that I'm a productive guy (safe & normal) who's into
SOMETHING that's kind of fascinating and possibly making me good
money -- but without revealing too much about what it is, and
especially NOT explaining every last detail in the droll,
somewhat braggartly way that is the hallmark of the boring-as-
hell nice guy.
You can drop hints about family ("connections", i.e. I'm not a
lonely, desperate hermit) or whatever in a similar manner to
show her that you're an okay (nice?) guy without piercing the
delicate bubble of MYSTERY that must envelope every seduction.
Now you're "in like Flynn" in terms of getting your foot in the
door to her heart (this is only Step 1 remember). Why? Because
she's made the determination in her *subconscious* mind (where
it really counts) that you "seem" like a nice guy beneath an
otherwise dominant male presentation of yourself, and that
piques her interest immensely.
You are a rare encounter in the universe of men that breaks down
into either sappy, boring "nice guys" or worthless (but, alas,
exciting) pricks. Your stock has gone up at the moment it
matters most... that make or break moment OF FIRST ENCOUNTER. No
matter what "flaws" you might otherwise imagine yourself to
have, you have become interesting to her in a way that AT LEAST
she'll never categorize as friggin' "nice". NOW you have a shot!
And you can move on to Seduction Steps 2, 3, 4, etc. with the
confidence of a High Status Male!
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