Less Fortunate
Every now and then I am struck with a feeling of despair and
helplessness. Sometimes, we go through the entire year without
thinking about those who are less fortunate. Most of us are
struck with that charitable feeling around Christmas. Thoughts
of children waking up with no presents to open, families going
without a Christmas meal, all of these things that shouldn't be
weigh on our minds during the holiday season. What about the
rest of the year? Yes, there are some of us who try to do our
part the entire year. Then there are some of us who never give
it another thought. Like myself. I guess it is always in the
back of my mind, but more so during the holidays. Through the
year, I've participated in other charitable events, but it's not
the same drive you get during Christmas.
I want to share a story with you. This event took tonight.
My husband and I went to the local grocery store. It was about
fifteen minutes before closing time and we just needed a few
items. Well, if the truth were known, we actually rode to town
to pick up a six-pack. The decision to stop at the grocery store
was a last minute decision.
In the store we were walking past the meat department. There was
an elderly woman looking at a package of meat. She asked my
husband if it was pork chops, and he replied, "yes ma'am." The
woman put the package down and commented on how expensive they
were. We all agreed and moved on.
We had reached the only check out line that was opened. There
was such a lengthy line trying to check out. The aisle was so
narrow that you couldn't even stand beside your basket. The
elderly woman was checking out followed by a shopping basket, a
man, our basket, us, and behind us was about four people.
Everyone was chatting back and forth. I saw the woman place a
gallon of milk, a box of cereal, a loaf of bread and a few can
goods on the counter. After a few minutes I glanced up to see
what was taking so long. I noticed the cashier roll her eyes and
it was obvious that she was growing impatient. I wondered if she
was just anxious to get the store closed. Whatever the case, I
thought she was rude. The elderly woman was doing her best to
count out her money, handing the cashier some bills and counting
out her change. The cashier was arranging the bills and was
shaking her head. I wanted to say something but I was too far
away. I then noticed that there was a verbal exchange going on
between the two, but I couldn't hear over the chattering in the
back of the line. Then I heard the cashier say in a stern voice,
"thirty-eight cents". I saw the elderly woman look down and I
attempted to inch up between the baskets with no success. I
turned to my husband who was talking to someone else. I had this
feeling that I knew what was going on. I didn't bring my purse
with me so I reached in my back pocket, finding nothing but a
piece of paper. I turned to my husband again but the cashiers
voice caught my attention. She reached in one of the bags and
pulled out the cereal. The elderly woman was looking at the
floor. The cashier ran the box over the scanner and handed it to
the girl that was bagging groceries. The girl immediately left.
I knew she was going to put the cereal back on the shelf. I
looked around and the line was longer. The man in front of me
was talking to someone also. I wanted to yell, "Wait a minute!
We've got thirty-eight cents", but I didn't. The thought
suddenly entered my mind that I would embarrass the woman. I
watched as the cashier gave her back some change and she feebly
picked up her bags and walked out the door. I watched her every
step with a heavy heart. Once outside she walked in front of the
large window and glanced back at me. I felt my heart stop. I
wanted to run to her but I couldn't. She nodded her head at me
and I gave her a half smile. She smiled and I turned my
attention on moving up in the line.
We finally checked out and walked out the opposite door. In the
parking lot I turned to see her sitting on the bench. I guess
she was waiting on a ride. I stood beside my vehicle lost in my
own thoughts until my husband's voice brought me back into
reality. I got in the truck and glanced at her again.
My husband replied, "There are some really poor people in this
county". I turned to look at him. He expressed his thoughts that
he felt she really wanted those pork chops. I felt the tears
building in my eyes. I told him what I had witnessed. He angrily
replied that I should have told him that he would have bought
the cereal for her.
I sat there a moment. I then asked him, "At what cost? To
embarrass her in front of everyone?"
He sat there a moment and looked in her direction. I wanted to
walk up to her and give her the five-dollar bill that he placed
in my cup holder. I was afraid. I was afraid that I would insult
her. I didn't know what to do. What should I do? My mind was
failing me and my heart was hurting.
We drove off in silence as tears flowed down my cheek. Tears not
only for her, but also for my ignorance.
As I sit here and type this I am not sure what the right thing
to do was. I wish I had been right behind her so that it would
have been easier to help her. My husband and I could have handed
the cashier a dollar and I could have replied "Oh, I hate it
when I leave all my money at home." Would I have thought about
that if I had been behind her? I don't know but it would have
been better than the outcome of this event.
I sit here trying to make sense of it all. The images of people
chatting happily, the rude cashier, and this poor elderly woman.
Everyone was so engulfed in their own moments that the pitiful
scene went unnoticed by so many. Unnoticed except for me. I am
so full of guilt, pity and strangely a feeling of gratitude.
Gratitude for what I have. As I type this, the tears are filling
my eyes. I am not trying to be selfish; I am trying to express
my sorrowful feelings.
Sometimes we forget that we are so much more fortunate than our
fellow neighbor. We must not forget this. I am heart broken that
this episode had to occur to remind me of this. Oddly I feel
confused and blessed. Confused for all that I have stated and
blessed to know that I have so much to be thankful for.
I pray that if I ever have to witness this again, I will have
the answers and act upon them. The scenes of tonight will be
forever etched in my memories.
This unknown woman will be in my prayers tonight, as will
myself. For I am not convinced my failure to act is justified.