On being a foreigner
I have heard one too many foreigners complain about their
adopted country. Granted, for some, being transplanted from a
culture to another was not part of their life ultimate goals,
but circumstances forced a move from a loved and familiar
culture to a different one. However, for the sake of our
happiness, it is crucial that we take the necessary steps to
adjust to the new place. We owe it to ourselves and to those we
love.
I think it is particularly aggravating this unethical showing
off that says that "My country is better than this (or even
worse, yours). Europeans are notorious for complaining about the
US; Americans are notorious for complaining about any other less
affluent place. It feels like one is marrying beneath, but is
nevertheless taking good advantage of the relationship with such
an inconvenient spouse. I think this is an unethical attitude
especially when one is making a good living out of being in the
foreign place. It doesn't seem fair.
As for me, living in the US has made me one of us. I said this
exact thing during my speech when I got my American citizenship
years back. Being an immigrant is like having two mothers: one
natural and one adopted. Are we going to forget one for the sake
of the other? I don't think so, especially because no one is
keeping score. Having two mothers has its drawbacks, though, for
we find ourselves torn between two lovers.
When I am in my "natural" country, which happens to be Brazil, I
love it there, though I know there are way too many things that,
because I am living in this country, I quite can't get used to.
The same thing happens here. I love it here, though there are
way too many things that I can't get used to.
This is the predicament of having two motherlands. We are never
totally here or totally there. We really don't belong here or
there. When we are there, we are somewhat unhappy, because we
miss it here; same thing when we are here, we are not as happy
because we miss it over there.
How can we make amends and feel comfortable in whatever place we
are? By adjusting. Certainly there are positive and negative
things in both places. The secret is to find a happy balance. To
do that, we need to focus on the positive aspects of the place
we are at the moment. Only then we will be content enough to
enjoy our stay, no matter where. If we can't do this, we'd
better go home.
But, no matter what you do, please, stop nagging. It is
unbecoming, unethical, and just plain rude.